Huffing at the reflection staring you back in the mirror, tears filled your eyes. The dress you wanted to wear out tonight wouldn’t zip. It was Nick’s favorite and tonight was date night. The first in the 3 months since Elise was born.
Taking the dress off and hanging it back up, you settled for another dress. Catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror made you stop in your tracks.
You had never been exactly petite. You had curves but were toned. Now, belly was soft, loose skin, stretch marks. How could Nick ever want to touch you again?
Sliding down the wall of your walk-in closet you broke down. What if you couldn’t get some semblance of your former body back? What if Nick didn’t find you attractive anymore, and some cute young thing came along? ‘No stop it’ you told yourself. Nick isn’t like that. But what if…if your chest started feeling right, can’tcatch your breath, heart pounding out of your chest…
‘Y/N? Where are you?“ Nick called out to you. “I just need to take a quick-..what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Nick’s voice filled with concern.
Shaking your head, “I can’t-doesn’t- ” you were unable to form a complete sentence, couldn’t catch your breath, tears streaming down your face. How did you spin down so quickly and over this??!
Nick knelt down and gathered you in his arms and started rocking you. He smoothed your hair, “Mi amor, please what’s wrong. You’re shaking.”
Trying to control your breathing, “My dress doesn’t fit. I look pregnant, still.” The words tumbled from your mouth.
Nick’s brow furrowed, “What are you talking about? What dress?“ Nick hadn’t seen you this upset since your dad passed away. You seemed fine this morning when he left for work. When he talked to you at lunch you were excited about the evening out.
After several minutes of Nick comforting you, you took a deep breath and shared what had been bothering you. “My body. It’s so different. And I get it, I’ve had two babies, it’s going to change. But when that dress wouldn’t fit”, you shook your head, “it just shot my self esteem. And all kinds of thoughts started going through my head. Stupid, ridiculous thoughts.”
Nck sighed and kissed the top of your head, “If I’ve ever made you feel anything other than beautiful, I am so sorry.” He stood you up and walked you in front of the mirror. “You want to know what I see? I see the face of the most beautiful, caring woman I have ever known. I see the hands that are gentle and soothing with our children but sensual with me.” His hands moved to your abdomen and your breath caught. “You have carried two beautiful babies. Your body has sustained, and cared for those babies. To me, you are perfect.”
Leaning against him, you let out a sigh. Nick embraced you and kissed your hair. “I’m sorry. I ruined our evening.”
He turned you in his arms and tilted yor chin up. “Hey. Listen to me. You have not ruined anything. I’m here with you, that’s all that I need.” He placed a tender kiss to yur lips.
The kiss deepened, becoming more desperate, needy. You cluched at Nick’s shirt. Nick hastly unzipped your dress and let it fall to the floor. Hot, wet kisses were being peppered down your neck, to your collorbone. His hands roamed your body and he fell to his knees. He looked up at you through his lashes. He starting kissing your stomach.
“Nick-” You tried to push him away but he grasped your thighs.
“Shhh.. Mi amor. Let me show just how beautiful you are to me.” He continued to place kisses to your stomach, thighs, hip. He stood up and grasped your thighs. He lifted you up, and you wrapped your legs around his waist.
He laid you down on the bed. The love in his eyes was unmistakable. “I love you so much Nick.”
“And I you reina.” The rest of the night he spent showing you how much he loved you. He worshipped your body and all previous thoughts, anxiety and insecurities were gone.
SVU addict 