Tag: to be continued

Conversations-A Heartfelt Passages fic

Kissing your fingertips you pressed them to the cold granite and looked up at the sky. It was just starting to become light but it was grey with a promise of rain. Your gaze fell back to the words etched in the granite. The same words that would be forever etched in your mind. Kneeling down, you traced the letters of Mike’s name with your forefinger. Loving husband, father, son and brother. Mike’s life summed up in six words.

“Isaac is going to play soccer this Fall. T-ball went really well so we’ll see.” Placing a hand on the headstone you pushed yourself up. “He’s becoming quite the athlete. And, uh Cora, she’s taking swimming lessons. Swims like a rock, just like you.”

Shaking your head, you chuckled a bit. “I know get to why I’m really here.” Taking a deep breath you continued. “So, I told you about Peter. The thing is I love him. And that scares me honestly. The last time I loved someone like that…” Taking a deep breath you steadied yourself. “He adores the kids, and they are crazy about him.” That thought actually made you smile. “He loves me but I pushed him away. The thing is it feels like I’m betraying you by loving him.”

“I thought I was the only one to come here this early.” The voice startled you.

“William.” You wiped tears from your eyes. “Hi. I, uh was just, uh…”

“I talk to him a lot too,” he confessed with a small smile. He was quiet for a minute, his brow furrowed. “You know what Mike wanted more than anything? He wanted you, Isaac and Cora to be happy.”

“I know. It’s what I wanted for him too,” you replied softly.

“The happiest years of Mike’s life were the ones he got to spend with you and the kids,” William said.

Starting to sniffle you pulled tissue from your pocket and wiped your nose. “I didn’t think I could be happy again, not like I was with Mike. Or love someone again…”

“But you have with Peter. Your love for Peter doesn’t negate the love you had and shared with Mike.”

You turned your eyes to his. “Yeah but pretty sure I’ve made a mess of that,” you laughed mirthlessly.

“Talk to him. Hear one another out. What you and Mike had was special that doesn’t mean you can’t or don’t deserve to have that again.”

“You’re right. I’m going to go. Let you have your time.” You hugged him tightly. “I love you, William. Thank you.”

“Love you too kiddo,” he responded then kissed your head. As you were walking away William said, “Anne will be texting you to come over for dinner. Bring Peter.”

You smiled and nodded. “I’ll do that.”

The things that usually help you sleep, hot bath, sleepytime tea, a glass of wine, weren’t working tonight. 2AM. Maybe if you would have called Peter like you said you were going to do for the past week you would be able to sleep. Thankfully you didn’t have a shift and would be able to have a chill day at home with the kids. Sitting up you remembered Mike’s letters. He had handwritten letters for almost every event in your lives. Everything from after your first date to present. Some for even after he passed. There were separate ones for the kids as well. How he ever found time to write them you didn’t know but you were thankful he did.

Throwing the covers off, you switched on the bedside table lamp. The letters were kept in a large manila envelope in your nightstand.  Thumbing through the smaller envelopes you found the one you were needed to read. After putting on your reading glasses you opened the envelope and removed the letter.

You ran your fingers over the paper that had been indented with Mike’s heavy handwriting.

My dearest Y/N,

I’m just going to say it. It’s okay to fall in love again. I know what you are thinking right now, “how could Mike even think I could love anyone else.” And right now you’re smiling and shaking your head because I’m right. Y/N, you deserve to love and be loved. And yes, I know what else you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. In no way are you betraying or belittling the love and life we shared.

Whoever it is that has won your heart must be a pretty good guy to take you on. I’m joking, well kinda, haha. Seriously, he needs to know about your Harry Potter obsession, that you “don’t snore”, how you like your eggs, that bacon is your preferred breakfast meat, that you eat pineapple on your pizza (insert eye roll), that you never make the bed, leave the lid off the toothpaste and think that taking a multivitamin means you don’t have to exercise.

The most important thing he needs to know is your capacity to love. I have never met someone that loves as completely as you do. How passionate you are about your patients and your career. That you would do anything you could if it meant our children didn’t have one day of sadness. When you love someone you’re all in.

It also means he has taken on the responsibility of helping you raise our children. That takes a special person to love children like they’re his own. Which brings me to my next point. I will always be their Daddy, their father, but if the day comes that they call him Dad, it’s okay. That is if he has earned it. It’s not just about being apart of the fun things. It’s being there through the up all nights because they’re sick, the tantrums, the days when they’re being extra sassy.

This letter was actually the easiest of all of them to write because if you’re reading it, that means you have found happiness again.  And that’s all I have ever wanted for you and our children.

Love, Mike

You folded the letter back up and held it to your chest. It gave you a sense of peace reading Mike’s words. Glancing over at your phone on the nightstand you picked it up and tapped out a text to Peter.

[To: Peter 2:25AM] hope this doesn’t wake you. I’d like to have you over for breakfast. I miss you.

Your phone pinged almost immediately.

[From: Peter 2:26AM] I’d love to have breakfast with you. I’ve missed you so incredibly much. Does 7AM work?

[To: Peter 2:28AM] 7AM is perfect. Can’t wait to see you.

[From: Peter 2:30AM] neither can I.

Choices-A Heartfelt Passages Fic

Taking a quick second to check your phone, you saw a text from Anne asking about your Memorial Day plans for this weekend. She and William wanted to take you and kids to Coney Island. That was easy, you had to work most of the weekend. But you did have Sunday and Monday off. You sent her a text letting her know.  And of course, there was the daily text from Peter that remained unanswered like the others the had sent.  Sighing you threw your phone back in the locker.

After work, you picked the kids up at William and Anne’s. They insisted you stay for dinner, you gladly accepted. “How is your friend? What’s his name…Peter,” Anne asked innocently.

“We-we haven’t talked in a few days. Schedules you know,” you answered. It wasn’t a lie. Just a half-truth. What could you say? ‘I’m a coward. He said that he loves me and I love him. But I’m too afraid to open myself back up again.’

William thankfully changed the subject. “So, Coney Island. Maybe you can meet us there on Sunday morning?”

On Friday, you were able to get off a little early so you could see the kids off with William and Anne. The rest of the evening you shuffled around the house, did some laundry and ordered some Indian food before you flopped on the couch to watch a movie. Around 8 pm your doorbell rang. Groaning you pushed yourself off the couch to answer the door.

“Peter,” you said with surprise. “What-”

“Well, you don’t respond to my texts or return my phone calls. I thought a face to face meeting was needed. Can I come in?”

You just there looking at him. “Sure.” Opening the door wider you stepped aside to allow him entry.

Peter pulled you to his chest for a hug. “I’ve missed you,” he said into your neck.

Screwing your eyes closed you wrapped your arms around Peter’s waist, but didn’t respond. When Peter leaned back to look at you, your heart almost broke. How the hell could you do what you were about to do? Backing out of Peter’s arms you gestured to the couch. “How is Pam?” She hadn’t been hurt physically but you wondered how mentally she was going to process what happened.

“She’s okay.” Peter sat beside on the couch.

“Good. That’s good.” Taking a deep breath you took Peter’s hand in yours. It was warm, comforting and engulfed yours completely. “Peter. I’m sorry I haven’t returned your calls or texts. That wasn’t fair to you. You have been nothing but kind and good to me and the kids. They adore you-”

“I sense a but.” He pulled his hand from yours and rested his forearms on his legs.

“I’m sorry Peter. I’m just not- I can’t.” Taking a few seconds you gathered your thoughts. “I’m damaged, Peter. I’m not good for you. You deserve someone who doesn’t have the emotional baggage I do. Someone you can be spontaneous with and doesn’t have to find a sitter…”

He rose from the couch quickly and you followed suit. “That’s not what I want.” When he spun back around, his eyes were pleading. “I want you. I want the kids. I don’t care what issues you have because I have some pretty messed up stuff in my life too.”

Shaking your head. “You don’t get it. We want different things, Peter. I don’t want to be with you. For me, it was just sex nothing more.”

“That’s a lie, Y/N.”

Jutting your chin and crossing your arms over your chest you stood your ground, even if it was about to crumble under you. “It’s the truth,” you replied in a small voice. Even you couldn’t believe what you were saying.

His face fell and he looked like someone punched him in the gut. He opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind. “Wow. You are a heartless bit-” Peter gave you an icy look. Spinning on his heel, he left you sitting on the couch, slamming the door behind him when he left.

The next day at work was slow. Very unusual for a Saturday and holiday weekend. “I’m gonna take my 15,” you told your co-worker who was currently working on his second crossword of the day. Louie waved his acknowledgment.

Once you were out if the ED, you pulled your phone out to check for messages. There were a couple from Anne of the kids splashing in the water, eating hot dogs and building sand castles. ‘Looks like everyone is having fun. Can’t wait to join you tomorrow!’

Nothing from Peter. Not sure why you thought there would be other than the fact that he texted you every day for the last three months. Your phone dinged again.

[From: Nick 4:36PM] having a cookout this evening. I know it’s last minute but wanted to invite you and the kids.

[To: Nick 4:38PM] I’ll swing by after I get off work at 7. Kids are out of town with William and Anne.

[From: Nick 4:42PM] Zara is with Maria. Should be a fun evening. I have tons of burgers and beer!

[To: Nick 4:45] sounds great. Can I bring anything?

[From: Nick 4:43PM] just your beautiful self.

You shook your head and grinned. Always a flirt. A night with friends was just what you needed.

Before heading to Nick’s you stopped by home to change out of your scrubs and clean up. Remembering there was a six pack of beer that Peter had left in the fridge, you grabbed it then headed out the door.

Hearing the conversation and music you unlatched the gate and made your way to the backyard. Nick had invited quite a few people. Liv, Tucker, Fin, Amanda and her doctor boyfriend, Sonny and his girlfriend Carmen, some officers you recognized from the precinct and numerous other people laughing, drinking and eating.

“Y/N. Over here!” Liv called. “Looks like everyone is kid-free,” she stated.

“Yeah a rarity for all of us at the same time.” You went around exchanging kisses and hugs.

“There you are,” Nick said as he came up beside you. He put an arm around your shoulder and placed a kiss to your head. “Let’s get you a burger.”

“Got a cooler I can put these in?” you asked holding the beer up.

He took it from your hand. “I’ll take care of it. You eat.”

A couple hours and a few beers later you were singing karaoke, badly, very badly, with Sonny, who was worse than you if that was even possible.  The two of you were so horrible you got booed off. It didn’t matter though, you were having so much fun.

“Okay. Let’s just play some music, huh?” he said with a chuckle. Nick took your mic, then Sonny’s. “The two worst singers in America, ladies, and gentlemen! Give ‘em a hand.”

You swatted his chest playfully and Sonny laughed waving him off.

Nick put on some good dance music, grabbed your hand and spun you around then dipped you. The two of you danced for a couple of songs until a slow one came on. “Thanks that was fun.”

“Wait. You’re really gonna leave me alone.”

Looking around it was essentially you and him not partnered off. Rolling your eyes you agreed. “Just don’t step on my toes,” you joked.

Nick took your hand and put his other at the small of your back while yours rested on his shoulder. “Man this song takes me back to a musty school gym at my first dance in junior high.”

You laughed. “I had my first kiss to this song actually.”

Nick pulled you closer. “How about getting kissed to it again.” His lips were on yours before you realized what was happening. Then all of a sudden he was pulled away. “What the hell-”

Peter’s fist made contact with Nick’s jaw. Nick shook his head then came back swinging delivering a gut punch. Sonny and Fin rushed over and pulled them apart.

“Is he the reason you broke up with me? For him?” Peter bellowed.

Nick spit blood on the ground. “She made the better choice,” he shot back.

Peter and Nick started exchanging insults while Sonny and Fin held them back.

“Stop! Just stop!” you yelled above them. “What the hell is wrong with you two!?” The two men stared daggers at one another.

“What the hell were you kissing Nick?” Peter spat out his name like he had taken a bite of something bitter.

“Sounds like it’s none of your business, buddy,” Nick shot back.

“I’ve heard enough. Peter go home. I’ll call you later.” You turned to Nick. “Inside. Now.”

Nick smirked at Peter. “Bye Peter.”

“Nick. Go.” You gave him a little shove toward the back door of his house. When you looked back, Peter was watching your retreat.

Once in the house Nick went to the freezer, pulled out a cold pack and held it against his jaw. He studied your face. “What?” he asked.

“You damn well what Nicholas Amaro.”

“I saw my chance and took it.” Nick shrugged.

“But I didn’t tell you I ended things with Peter. How did you know? The only person-” You made a mental note to kiss Sonny’s butt. Leaning against the counter you pinched the bridge of your nose and collected your thoughts. “Nick. You know I love you. You’re one of my best friends.”

“Ouch. Friend-zoned,” Nick replied.

You shot a brow up at his comment.

“Sorry. About the kiss. That was wrong. But I’m not sorry about hitting that asshole back,” he stated.

“Thank you.” Nodding at where Nick held the ice pack, “how bad is it?”

“I’ve had worse from the kids I coach at the gym.” He grinned at you. “I really am sorry.”

“I know. C’mere.” You moved the ice pack. “Doesn’t need stitches. Keep icing it, take some ibuprofen.”

“Everything okay on here?” Liv asked as she poked her head on the door.

“Yeah. We’re good. Just getting ready to go,” you answered. “Good night, Nick.” You gave him a hug, which he returned.

Liv and Tucker dropped you at home. When you got inside you attempted to call Peter a couple times. Straight to voicemail. Either his phone was off or he was ignoring your calls. Your money was on the latter. Instead, you shot him a text.

[To: Peter 11:21 PM] I assume you are ignoring my calls. Touche. Not that I really need to explain myself to you but I will tell you what happened. I didn’t break things off with you for Nick. He kissed me and realized he overstepped. It’s fine if you don’t want to talk to me. I understand. I just want to know you made it home safely. Good night.

Healing hearts-a Heartfelt Passages fic

“So which one do you like best?” you asked Isaac. Cora was holding your hand, twirling around and around.

Isaac’s little brow furrowed as he tried to decide. “I don’t know Mama.” He shrugged his shoulders. You examined the store for a sales associate but the store was chaotic. They were all with other customers at the moment.

“Go with the Mizuno,” a voice from behind you recommended.

Turning you saw Peter standing behind you. “Peter. It’s you. Thank you.” Cora waved at Peter from where she was now clinging to your leg. He grinned and waved back. Taking the glove from the shelf, you tucked it under your arm.

“No problem. Did you get cleats and a bat yet?” Peter inquired.

You raised a brow and your nose crinkled. “He needs all that?”

“C’mon. I can help pick the right weight bat.” Peter offered. “I did play professional baseball after all.”

“I’m sure you’re busy. I can ask William or-”

“Mama?” Isaac tugged on your hand to get your attention. “I want him to help.”

After leaving the sporting goods store, you asked Peter to join you and the kids for lunch as a thank you. Peter gestured to a bench at the park while the kids played. “So New York or Chicago hot dogs?” you asked Peter before biting into your spicy mustard, onion-laden hot dog.

Peter chuckled. “Good question. As a hot dog connoisseur, I have to say Chicago. Better casings, higher quality meats.”

“Me too. I haven’t had a Chicago hot dog since Mike and I moved to NYC.”

“You have some mustard just-” Peter pointed to the corner of your mouth.

“I get it?” you asked running your tongue over your lips.

Peter swiped his thumb over the corner of your mouth. “Got it.”

Gently you bit your bottom lip, looking up at Peter through your lashes. “Thanks.” Suddenly you needed something to do. Luckily the kids ran up to you asking to be pushed on the swings. The kids grabbed your hand pulling you toward the swings. “It’s easier with two people ya know.”

Peter smiled. “Right behind you.”

A couple months later

“Are we there yet?” Isaac asked from the backseat.

“Almost buddy,” you answered. He loved baseball and was always excited for practice and games. Looking in the rearview Isaac already had his glove on, his hat was on backward. He saw pictures of Mike and insisted on wearing his hat like Daddy. Cora had fallen asleep in her car seat just minutes after leaving the house.

There were several cars already at the field when you arrived. You pulled into a parking spot. Isaac was out of his booster seat and opening the car door before you had barely shut the car off. “Wait right there.”

You took a sleeping Cora from her car seat then made your way around to Isaac’s side of the bed. “Mr. Peter!” Isaac called out excitedly.

Peter found out he would be coaching Isaac’s team about a month ago. Isaac thought it was so cool a real baseball player would be his coach. “Isaac. My man!” He greeted Isaac with a high five.

“I think you may be his hero,” you said to Peter.

Peter leaned down to kiss your cheek. “How was your week? I’ve missed you.”

“Ugh. Crazy. I’ve missed you too. Happy tomorrow is Friday. How about you?”

“Same for me. But knowing I get to spend the weekend with my favorite people makes the days go by a little quicker.”

Cora started waking up. She rubbed her eyes. When she saw Peter she held her arms out to him. “Petey hold me.”

Peter took her into his arms without hesitation. “She’s the only one that can call me that and get away with it.”

Your memory flashed back to the first time you called Mike, Mikey. He had said the same thing to you. It was the first time in a long time that thinking about Mike made you sad. You gave him a tight smile. “I’ll be right back. I left something in the car.” Once you got to the car you sat inside for a few minutes trying to compose yourself. Taking a few cleansing breaths and dabbing your eyes, you exited the vehicle and watched the practice.

It took a few times of the phone ringing and buzzing beside you before you were awake. “How bad is it? Okay. I’ll be there in 10.” You hit end call and groaned.

“Everything okay?” Peter asked in a raspy voice.

“10 car pile up. They need everyone they get,” you replied. “I’ll call Martha to come over.”

Peter sat up a little in bed. “I can watch them.”

“I can’t ask you to babysit, Peter.” Getting out of bed, you went to the closet to get a set of scrubs.

“You didn’t ask, I offered.” He turned over to where you were sitting on the side of the bed.

Looking over your shoulder at Peter you contemplated what to do. “Only if you’re sure. I mean Cora gets up really early. It’s 3:00, so she’ll probably be up at like-”

“5:30, unless she sleeps in then 6:00. Likes apple juice and hits the ground running. Isaac won’t be up til 8am. Not a morning person, like someone else I know.”  Peter gave you a small smile.

You had to smile back. He knew the kids’ routines and habits as well as you did. “Okay. Call if you need anything.”

“We’ll be fine. You’ve been to my place. I’ve kept all my plants alive,” he said with a wry smile.

When you came back home Peter met you at the door. The look on his face told you something was wrong. “What is it? What’s wrong? Is it the kids?”

He grasped your shoulders. “They’re fine. It’s Denny. I had to carry him inside. He can’t get up.”

You stroked Denny’s head as he lay in your lap. Isaac sat beside you petting Denny as well. Cora had fallen asleep on the way to the vet, Peter was currently holding her.

“Mrs. Dodds. You’re doing the right thing,” the vet said as he sat on the floor beside you.

You nodded quickly, wiping your nose on the back of your hand. “I know. Just hard to let him go.” You hugged Denny around the neck and kissed his fur.

“I’ll give you a few minutes,” he said softly as he stood to leave.

“Oh, Denny. You have always been such a good boy.” Peter knelt down beside you. “He, uh, we wondered how he would do with the kids. He loved them, watched over them. And then when Mike died-died he never left my side,” you sobbed. Peter placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed gently. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Peter kissed your head.

Peter insisted you eat, shower then lie down when you got home and you didn’t argue. You padded out to the kitchen a couple hours later for a bottle of water. Peter and the kids were sitting at the table. “What are you guys up to?”

“I’m showing Peter pictures of when I was in your belly,” Isaac explained.

“You were a beautiful bride,” Peter complimented you.

“Not bad for seven months pregnant.” It has been one of the happiest days of your life.

Peter’s phone buzzed beside him on the table. Brinkhaven Psychiatric Hospital showed up on the screen. “Sorry I have to take this.” He answered the phone but didn’t leave the room. “Okay. No. I understand. I’ll be there first thing in the morning. Thank you.” He ended the call.

“Is your sister okay?” you asked with concern.

“She’s having side effects from her medications. Tardive dys-dys…”

“Tardive dyskinesia. Her medications are affecting her nervous system. Has she been on her current medication regimen for a long time?”

“Honestly I have no idea. My Dad took care of things. It’s just been since his passing that I’ve become involved in her care. It’s not easy to navigate,” he confessed.

“I can come with you if you want.”

Peter’s eyes darted to yours. “You’d do that for me?”

“Of course. I’ll see if Anne and William can watch the kids.” Picking up your phone you tapped out a quick text to Anne. She responded almost immediately. She and William were in the neighborhood and asked if the kids could just stay the night. “Who wants to stay at Memaw and Pappy’s?”

“Me!”

“Me!”

You laughed. “That’s what I thought. Let’s go get some clothes.”

After the kids were picked up, it left you and Peter alone. A rare occurrence. “I forgot how quiet it is when they aren’t here,” Peter commented.

“I know it’s weird.”

“I can think of a way to make it less quiet,” Peter said suggestively. He leaned over, grasping your thighs picking you up, carrying you to the bedroom.

The next several weeks went by without incident. Pam was improving. She remembered Peter and was getting to know you and the kids. Everything was going so well you were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when it did drop it cracked the very foundation you were standing on.

“Nick. Hey. Wasn’t-”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at home. Why what’s up?”

“Are the kids with you?”

“They’re here. Nick. What’s going on? You’re starting to scare me.”

“Peter’s been threatened which means you and the kids are at risk,” he explained. “Lock the doors. Get some clothes together. I’m on my way there.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Okay.” As soon as you hung up with Nick you dialed Peter. No answer. You left him a message, then a text. When Nick arrived 15 minutes later you had bags packed for you and the kids.

“Nick I haven’t heard from Peter. I tried to call.”

“He’s safe at the precinct. I’m taking you there right now. TARU has his phone.” Nick’s voice was clipped.

“Is something bothering you, Nick?”

“Nope.” He jaw was clenching and he had a death grip on the steering wheel.

Shaking your head you didn’t say anything the rest of the way to the precinct.

Peter was pacing when you and the kids entered the precinct. He crossed the room in a few short strides. He picked up Isaac then wrapped you and Cora in a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry this is happening.”

“It’s not your fault-”

“Peter. We found ‘em,” Sonny interrupted. “We’re movin’ out now.”

“I need to go.” He kissed you then placed Isaac back on his feet. “I love you.”

You were too shocked to say it back. Those three words scared you, although you knew you felt the same way. “I love you too,” you said into the empty room.

Conflict of Interest


Stretching, you looked at the clock. 5:05 AM. On your day off your internal clock was still set to waking up early. “Might as well get the day started you,” you said to yourself. Denny slowly ambled down the hall toward you. You and Mike adopted Denny together before you had kids. He was aging quickly. You weren’t sure of his age when you adopted him. Their best guess was five or six years old. That would make him about 10. He happily wagged his tail in greeting. “Got your routine too don’t you.” You leaned over and scratched behind his ears. Denny had been a comfort to you after Mike’s death. He rarely left your side. You opened the back door to the fenced in yard.

Walking back into the kitchen you looked at the whiteboard calendar hanging on the refrigerator. Barba’s trial was set to start today. You had made plans to be there so he would have another friendly face in the crowd.  

After letting Denny back in you hopped on the treadmill for a quick run before the kids got up and chaos ensued. By some miracle, you were able to get your run in, shower and make coffee before Isaac and Cora woke up.

“Remember grandma Anne will pick you up from school today, Isaac,” you reminded him as he ate his oatmeal and banana.

“‘Kay.” He was so not a morning person. Cora, on the other hand, was happy and chatty.

At 8:35AM you were headed up the stairs of the courthouse. You heard your name being called when you exited the elevator. Peter freaking Stone. You sighed and slowed your gait so he could catch up with you.

“You haven’t returned my calls or texts the last couple of days. I was worried something was wrong.” When his eyes searched your face you could tell he was sincere.

“Conflict of interest,” you said, your gaze not leaving his.

He gave you a quizzical look.

“Barba happens to be one of my good friends,” you informed him. Crossing your arms over your chest you continued, “why didn’t you tell me you were the prosecutor on the case?”

“I didn’t know until after I saw you that morning. That’s what my meeting was about that morning,” he assured you. “I’m sorry he’s one of your friends but I’m just doing my job.”

“Well, I hope you suck.” Stalking away you went to find Liv and the rest of the squad. Amanda had saved you a seat next to her. “Has anyone talked to Rafael? How is he doing?”

“Haven’t heard much. He’s holding up okay, considering,” Amanda said.

The first day of the trial was over and you were walking to your car. You were sending a text to Anne to let her know you were on your way to pick up the kids. She texted you back asking if the kids could stay the night. You were texting her back when another text came through. ‘I know you’re not my biggest fan right now. Could you meet me for a drink at Forlini’s? I’d really like to talk to you.’

You sighed and checked your watch. Sending another text to Anne you turned around and walked in the direction of Forlini’s. Peter was sitting at the bar sipping on a beer when you entered. Part of you felt sorry for him. He had only a sister left, no friends here in Manhattan and now with this trial he definitely wasn’t earning any brownie points with SVU. The other less rational side thought of him as the enemy.

“I’ll have what he’s having,” you told the bartender. You slipped your coat off the laid it along with your purse on the stool beside you.

“You came.” He sounded surprised.

“Well, you did invite me,” your tone biting. You saw Peter flench. The bartender put the bottle in front of you.

“Put it on my tab.” Peter took a sip of his beer and you followed suit. “I know we only met a few times and I’m not your favorite person right now but I don’t have anyone-” He cleared his throat

Sighing you looked down at your beer. “Peter…” His plea pulled at your heart. It was just a couple years ago you were in a similar situation as Peter. Mike had transferred to SVU. You were pregnant with Cora and other than Mike, you only had Anne and William. Your family was halfway across the country.  

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you.” He stood and dropped some cash on the bar to cover the drinks.

“No. Sit.” You put a hand on Peter’s arm to halt his leave. “I’m sorry, Peter. We can talk. I can listen.”

It was still dark when you woke. You slipped out of Peter’s arms and sat on the side of the bed. ‘Shit. What were you thinking? You turned back to see Peter’s sleeping form. Gathering your clothes you dressed and left Peter’s apartment.

That day in court you arrived late so you wouldn’t have to chance running into Peter. “You okay,” Sonny asked when you sat beside him on the bench. Your eyes darted over to Peter who was looking in your direction.

“Yeah. Just worried about Rafael.” You tried to give a reassuring smile to him.

Sonny looked between you and Peter, then turned back to you. He nodded then gave you a tight smile but wisely said nothing.

The jury came back quickly. “We the jury find the defendant not guilty.” You let out a sigh of relief and made the sign of the cross. Sonny did the same beside you. When Rafael approached the group you pulled him in for a hug. “I have to run and pick up the kids but I’ll call you later. Have you over for dinner. The kids miss their Uncle Raf.”

“I’ll take you up on that,” he responded. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course. That’s what friends do.”

The doorbell rang. “The pizza! The pizza!” Isaac yelled running to the front door.

“Don’t open that door, Isaac Michael!”

He stopped in his tracks allowing you to catch up with him. You picked your wallet up off the entrance table then opened the door.

“You don’t look like the pizza man,” Isaac said disappointedly.

“Peter. What are you doing here?” Your eyes bore into him.

“I-uh-wanted to talk to you, about-about-”

“Isaac can check on your sister please.” Once he was out of the room you turned your attention back to Peter.

“What the hell are you doing showing up at my home?” you asked in a loud whisper.

“You left this morning. I wanted to be sure you’re okay,” Peter stated.

You bit your bottom lip then looked down at your feet. “I’m fine, Peter. Thank you for your concern.”

“Wait. Please,” he blurted as you started to close the door. “I’d like to take you out on a proper date.”

“I was lonely, we both were. So let’s just take it for what it was, sex. Nothing more,” you asserted.

“Not for me. And I think you felt the same way,” Peter countered. You felt Peter’s eyes bore into you.

You straightened your frame. “Don’t come back here again.” Peter’s downcast face was the last thing you saw when the door closed.

Second Chances

//Second part of my take of Heartfelt Passages’, Better to have loved, in the alternate Doddsverse. Continues from HERE//

When you turned around you were surprised to see Peter Stone standing in front of you. “What brings you to NYC?” Peter was a casual acquaintance of yours and Mike’s when you lived in Chicago.

“Actually, my father passed away. I’m in town to settle his estate,” he explained.

“I’m so sorry Peter,” you said softly.

Cora pulled on your hand. “Mama. Who that?”

Peter knelt down to her level. “My name is Peter. I’m a friend of your Mommy’s. What’s your name?”

She gave him a shy smile. “Cora Danae Dodds.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Cora.”

Peter smiled at her then stood. “Can I buy you a coffee?” Peter offered. “I have an hour before a meeting. I’d like to catch up.”

“That would be nice. Thank you,” you accepted.

“How are William and Anne?” Peter inquired after you found seats.

“They’re doing really well. Anne is an angel. I don’t know what I would have done without them after Mike…” You cleared your throat. “Umm…how long will you be in town?”

Peter gazed at you then Cora, who was enjoying her smoothie. “Couple weeks maybe to get things settled, then I’m going back to Chicago.”

Your phone buzzed. It was a text from Amanda. You locked your screen, deciding to answer it later. “Sorry about that. With kids, you never know.”

“Oh yes, Your son. How old is he?”

Unlocking your phone you showed him pictures of the kids. “His name is Isaac. He’s four.”

“He looks so much like Mike,” Peter commented. He looked at his watch. “Sorry I have to go. It was so nice seeing you. And it was very good meeting you, Miss Cora.”

“Bye Petey,” she said and went back to playing with her doll.

Peter chuckled. “Dinner before I go back to Chicago?”

“Sure text me when you’re free.” The two of you exchanged numbers before he left.

“Bye ladies.” He smiled then waved. You watched as Peter made his way out the door. ‘Had he always been that handsome?’ You thought to yourself.

Before going home, you stopped by the precinct to make a quick visit and see if anyone was available for drinks on Friday. The precinct was buzzing with activity which was nothing new. But there was a different energy to it. A somber energy, like the first time you went there after Mike died.

Sonny was the first person you saw. His face lit up. “Hey, dolls!” He hugged you and Cora jumped into his arms. “Uncle Sonny!” Cora exclaimed and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“What’s going on? There’s a weird energy,” you stated and looked around.

Sonny’s brow furrowed. “I thought Amanda talked to you.”

“She texted me but I was having coffee with a friend so I didn’t read it. Is everything okay?” You already knew the answer to that question.

“C’mere.” Sonny put a hand to your lower back, ushering you into the breakroom. He closed the doors behind him.

“This can’t be good,” you said simply. Sonny sat Cora at one of the tables and gave her the tablet and pen that was in his jacket.

“Here, sit,” he gestured to one of the other chairs, taking the one beside you. “Remember that baby that was kidnapped by his father because Mom wanted to end life support?”

You nodded in the affirmative. It had been all over the news. “Was there a development in the case?”

Sonny looked down at his folded hands. “Barba turned off the ventilator. He pulled the plug on that kid.”

“He what?” you said shocked. “What was he thinking? I mean I get it but…”

“Yeah. That’s kinda where all of us are.” Sonny rubbed his forehead.

The two of you sat in silence for several minutes. Both of you processing the information. Cora saw Olivia and her face brightened. “Is Noah here?” She asked excitedly.

“No sweetie. He’s in school. I’m sorry. Maybe this weekend you and Isaac can come over,” she said when she came through the door. Cora nodded enthusiastically. The two of you hugged. “I guess you know what’s going on with Barba.”

“Yeah. Sonny just told me. Have been able to talk to him?”

“No. He’s being arraigned late this morning. I did run into Jack McCoy. He introduced me to special counsel in Rafael’s trial.” She rounded the table and poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Yeah? Who is it?” Sonny inquired.

“Ben Stone’s son, Peter,” she answered with disdain in her voice.

“I ran into him this morning. We had coffee,” you said. Both turned to you in surprise and confusion. “He was an acquaintance of Mike’s when we lived in Chicago.”

“Well, he’s a good prosecutor. Barba’s in for a fight.”

Your cell buzzed in your bag. ‘Thank you for coffee. Nice to have a familiar face in all the chaos. I’ll be in town a little longer than I thought. Let me know what works for dinner.’

“How about never,” you thought to yourself as you slid the phone back into your bag.

Undercover Part 2

 A few days later you wanted to go into town to the farm market for some fresh produce. It would be closing for the season soon. You planned to make apple butter and possibly a pie. Luis was readying himself for work when you told him your plan for the day. He moved around the bedroom in just his suit pants and shirt hanging open showing off his washboard abs with his tie hanging around his neck haphazardly.

“You’re staring, carina,” Luis remarked with a grin and started buttoning his shirt.

“Sorry. Just can’t help myself.” You climbed out of bed. “Here let me,” you offered, motioning to his tie.

“You’re so beautiful.” Luis looked down at you with sincere eyes.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” you responded, then gave him a wonk.  “There. Perfect,” you said. You patted his chest. “Want anything from the farmers market?”

“Some jams or jellies and whatever fresh veggies look good.” He leaned down and kissed your temple. “Take Cesar and one of the new guys,” he instructed.  “I love you, Y/N.” He wrapped you in his arms and kissed you deeply.

“I love you too, Luis,” you responded after he broke away.

Sonny followed you as you wandered around the market. It was the first interaction you had with him since he had arrived. A shopping basket of fresh vegetables, apples and jams hung from your arm. He had been quiet all afternoon, which was a nominally for Sonny Carisi.

“You got everything you need?” The way he asked the question you knew he wasn’t talking about the items in your basket.

“More or less,” you informed him. “Just a few more things.”

“Here. Let carry that for ya,” he offered and reached for the basket.

“No thank you. I can manage,” you answered quickly.

“Yeah. I’m sure you can. Seem to managin’ things pretty well,” he concluded in a sarcastic tone.

Sonny stopped abruptly when you spun on your heel to face him. “You’ve been here for five days and that’s the only thing you have to say to me? I don’t know what you think you know, Dominick but you don’t know a damn thing,” you spat.

“I know that you’re screwing him,” he shot back in a low whisper. “You’re in love with him.”

“What are you jealous? It was one night, hence the name one night stand.” You thought back to that night. It had been a blur of drinks, a steamy cab ride back to Sonny’s apartment, making love all night, then you sneaking out the next morning without saying goodbye. That was the last time you had seen Sonny until a few days ago.

“Just didn’t realize you were so ‘friendly,” he said his voice laced with disdain.

“Fuck you, Dominick.” You shoved past him to pay for your items. Sonny trailed behind you.

Cesar opened the SUV door. “You okay Ms. Y/L/N?” He looked between you an Sonny.

“Just not feeling well. Thank you for your concern,” you replied and gave him a tight smile.

“Ouch! Shit! ” you exclaimed as the sharp knife cut through the pad of your thumb. You grabbed a dish towel, wrapped it around your thumb and held pressure. “Sorry about the language, Mama.”

Carmen, Luis’ mother waved it off and ushered you to the sink. She unwrapped the towel and ran cold water over the cut. “Oh mija. This looks bad. You need to see the doctor,” Carmen concluded. She took the first aid kit from under the sink and used the gauze to wrap it.

“Everything okay ladies?” Cesar asked. “I heard a scream.”

“Y/N cut her finger. I think it needs stitches,” Carmen informed him.

“I’ll pull the car around,” Cesar said.

“Really it’s not necess-”

“Nonsense. I’ll call Luis, let him know,” Carmen reassured you.

“Okay. Thank you Mami,” you smiled at the kind woman.

She kissed your cheek and walked you to the door.

To your surprise, it was Sonny opening the door to the SUV. “I thought Cesar was taking me.”

“You’re stuck with me,” he said with plastered on smile.

“Splendid.” You returned the same fake smile that you were given.

“Hey uh, I wanna apologize for what I said earlier. I was way outta line. I don’t think-” He was silent for a few moments. Sonny met your gaze in the rearview mirror. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too,” you replied softly as you fought back tears.

Luis was all but running through the doors as you were leaving the exam room.

Relief flooded his face. “Mama said you cut your thumb pretty bad. Said you were making an apple pie.” It was his favorite pie and you knew he had been looking forward to it all day.

“Seven stitches,” you informed him, showing your bandage as you gave him a thumbs up. “I think the pie may be ruined. Sorry babe.”

He hugged you to his chest. “Don’t worry about the pie. I’m just happy to hear you have all your fingers,” he said in a teasing tone.

The dull throb from your thumb woke you. A glance at the digital clock told you it was 2 AM. Luis wasn’t in bed, which wasn’t too unusual. He didn’t sleep much. Most times you found him alone on the patio smoking a cigar, deep in thought. And that’s where you found him tonight.

“Hey you,” you said softly, pulling your robe around you staving off the crisp Autumn air. Luis had a fire going in the outside fireplace.

“Mi amor. Come. Sit.” He patted the space beside him on the lounger. You did as requested and curled into his side.

“I didn’t mean to bother you. I know you’ve had a lot on your mind lately.”

“You are never a bother,” he said reassuringly. One arm wrapped around your upper half. He gently caressed your arm and placed a tender kiss to your injured thumb. He snubbed out his cigar. “Wish it could always be like this, just me and you.”

“That would be nice,” you confirmed. It would be. If only Luis wasn’t a drug dealing sex trafficker and you weren’t an undercover detective. Why couldn’t have things been different. Perhaps another time, another place. 

Sonny was right, you were in love with Luis and you didn’t know what you were going to do. You sighed and snuggled in closer to Luis’ chest. You’d deal with that when the time came. You knew that time was coming soon…

I wanted to ask for something kinda angst ridden and lovey ending- years ago I was abused by an ex and I didn’t have anyone to protect me so I was wondering if you could do a Sonny protecting the reader from an abusive ex. Please and thank you darling ❤️

Requested by @fleur-cheri13

//my dear, thank you for the ask. I am so sorry that you had to go through that and you had no one to help you. hope you have been able to recover. This will be a two, possibly three part ask.//

The warm Autumn sun shined down warming your skin. You closed your eyes and leaned back in the chair with your hands resting on your small baby bump while you waited for Sonny to meet you for lunch. Life couldn’t get much better.  

“Well. Well. Well.” The gravelly voice sent chills straight down your spine and your eyes flew open.”Fancy meeting you here.” Joseph, your ex, took the seat across from you. The smile on his face was unsettling.

“I have a restraining order. You need to leave. I’ll call the cops.” Try as you might, you couldn’t stop your voice from shaking. This man abused and terrorized you for years. It was only after he put you in the hospital with a concussion, broken eye socket and fractured ribs did you get the courage to leave.

The courts notified you of his release two months ago after only serving 3 years for “good behavior”.  At times you blame yourself. If you had reported the previous abuse, he could have been sentenced much longer. But he had a good attorney and plead down. You were granted an order of protection, and a condition of his parole is he would not have any communication of any kind with you. Which didn’t seem to make much of a difference.

Joseph just laughed. “You really think a piece of paper is going to keep us apart? We’re soulmates, honey. I’ll be long gone by the time the cops get here.”

God. Just the sound of that nickname made your skin crawl. “If you won’t leave, I will.” You stood to leave but he grabbed your wrist. “Let go, Joseph. Now. I will scream this place down.”

“Get your hands off her.” Sonny’s usual cheery voice was low and angry.

Joseph immediately let go of your wrist. “So this is the Staten Island schmuck that you married?” His eyes flicked to your belly. “And you’re knocked up?”

“If you so much as think about Y/N again, you’ll have me and the rest of the NYPD on you so fast-”

“Sounds like a threat Detective.” Joseph leered at Sonny.

“Nah. More like a promise.  When it comes to her and our child, I have no boundaries.” Sonny stepped up to Joseph toe to toe.

Joseph shoved you toward Sonny and took off. Sonny caught you before you fell.

“Are you okay?” One of Sonny’s hands went to your belly, the other on your shoulder. His face was etched with concern.

“I’m fine.” You gave him a small, reassuring smile. “Can we just go home, please?”

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sonny questioned as the two of you ate dinner.

“Guess I’m still just a little shook up from this afternoon,” you responded not meeting his eyes. You pushed the food around your plate.  It was all you could do was not cry. “Excuse me.” You pushed your plate away before you left the table.

“Y/N?” Sonny’s soft voice called your name from the other side of the bathroom door. “Are you okay doll?”

“Just give me a minute,” you answered back. The cold water you splashed on your face did little to make you feel better. So many horrible memories came flooding back this afternoon after the encounter with Joseph. You dried your face then opened the door to Sonny waiting for you on the other side.

Sonny gently brushed his fingers down your cheek. “It kills me to see you like this.” Sonny knew the whole story between you and Joseph. It all came out one night when Sonny got mad about an incident between him and his Dad. He slammed his fist on the counter. When he saw your reaction to his behavior he knew. He apologized. You reassured him you weren’t afraid of him, which was the truth.

“I’m sorry. Not seeing him since the trial, then him just…being there.” You covered your mouth as a sob escaped your throat.

Sonny pulled you to his chest. “I’m going to take care of this. I promise you, he can never hurt you again.” He cupped your head in his hand, while the other caressed your back as he rocked you side to side.

Voices from the living room woke you. Sonny had laid down with you until you fell asleep. You padded quietly into the living room where Sonny was talking to Olivia, Fin and another man you didn’t know.

Sonny ran his hand through his hair, then rubbed the back of his neck. “What do ya mean ‘he’s unreachable’? You mean you have no idea where he is. He accosted my pregnant wife.”

“He’s out there then. And no one knows where he is.”  All turned at the sound of your voice. “Does he know where we live? It didn’t seem like he had a problem finding me this afternoon.”

“Doll, it’s late. You should be sleeping.”

Olivia approached you, placing her hands on your shoulders. “I assure you, Y/N , we’ll find him.” The determination in her eyes was unmistakable. She turned back to Sonny. “Until then there will be a car posted outside the building. Sonny, you stay home with Y/N for a few days.”

“We’ll get him kid.” Fin nodded to you. You gave him a small smile and wrapped your arms around yourself. “We’ll show ourselves out.”

Sonny ran his hands up and down your arms. “Want some tea? Or I can make ya somethin’. You didn’t eat dinner.” Sonny ushered you to the kitchen table to sit.

“Sonny, stop fussing, please. I’m fine.”

Looking up at Sonny, you realized he wasn’t fine. He was worried. When he felt helpless, he fussed. You reached for his hand and smiled at him. “Peanut butter and jelly sounds good right now.”

“Comin’ right up. Want some of Ma’s strawberry jam? How bout a glass of almond milk?” Sonny liked to take care of people, especially you.

“Sounds perfect,” you answered. Sonny rewarded you with a dimpled grin.

Sonny placed the sandwich and milk in front of you. He watched until you started eating and relaxed a little.

“So, uh, what are they doing about  Joseph? Do they have any idea where he might be?”

Sonny’s jaw clenched. He picked at the tablecloth before moving his gaze to you. “Actually. Was hopin’ you could help with that.”

“Me?” You answered back around a bite of sandwich. “I haven’t seen him in three years.”

“Yeah. I know. But you might be able to tell us his old hangouts and friends.” He placed a hand over yours. “I hate to ask you-”

“No. It’s okay. Whatever I can do to help catch him.” It was silent for a while. You felt a fraction better after finishing your sandwich and milk. “Thank you for taking such good care of me, I mean us.”

“You two are the most important people in my life. I will protect you til my last breath.” Sonny took your hand a placed a kiss to your knuckles.

He flicked the cigarette to the ground and put it out with the toe of his shoe. The light went out in the apartment he was watching. A patrol car sat on the other side of the street watching the same apartment. “Bide your time, Joseph,” he mumbled to himself before taking a swig from the paper bag covered bottle. Joseph was a patient man. If he learned anything in prison it was just how patient he could be.

Again…

Two months after… THIS

“I have to admit. Matt is different.” Mike watched as Matt played with Isaac and Cora. Beckett was asleep in the bouncy seat beside him.

It was a hard sell at first, but Mike agreed to let Matt stay until he could get on his feet. Matt had proven himself. He was off drugs, went to NA, got a job in a coffee shop, and spent whatever free time he had with Beckett.

“He’s doing really well,” you mused then sipped your coffee. “Plus. It’s fun being an aunt. I love watching Beckett while Matt is at work. Cora is pretty smitten too.”

“You’re an amazing woman, Y/N. Such a big heart, always forgiving, and giving people second chances." 

“You are one lucky man, Michael Dodds,” you bumped your hip into his with a smirk. 

“Don’t you think I know that?” He responded with a chuckle and slid an arm around your waist.

A tug of your sleeve and Isaac’s gentle voice woke you from a deep sleep. “Mama. Beckett is crying.”

“Hmmm…? Uncle Matt will get him, baby.” 

Isaac climbed into bed. “Mama. He been crying a long time.”

“Everything okay?” Mike turned mumbled as he turned over. Isaac snuggled into Mike’s arms. He kidded Isaac’s head.

“Yeah. Go back to sleep babe.” 

As you trudged down the hall, Beckett’s cries became more hysteric. “How the hell is he sleeping through that.” You knocked on the door and entered when Matt didn’t answer. “Hey. Shhh. Come here, buddy. Shhh.” He started settling soon after being picked up. “Where Daddy? Hmmm?” That’s when the note caught your eye. “Son of a-”

“Michael. Wake up. We have a problem.” Beckett was finally content after you made him a bottle. 

“What’s wrong? Is it the kids?” Mike sat up fully awake. 

“See for yourself.” You shoved the letter in his face. Mike reached for his glasses on his bedside stand. His brow furrowed as he read it. “Damn it. I knew it. I told you.” Mike raised his voice.

Helping hand

“Okay guys eat up then you can watch cartoons.” You instructed Isaac and Cora. They had been up before the sun rose. Mike didn’t get called in last night by some miracle so you were letting him sleep in, a rare treat.

Only 7AM, going to be a long Saturday. Just as you took a sip of coffee the doorbell rang. “Who in the world could that be?” You said more to yourself than the kids. “Eat. I’ll be right back.”

When you looked through the peephole your mouth dropped open. You swung the door open. “Matt. What are you doing here?” He was holding a baby. Which raised even more questions

“Can I come in please?” Matt looked at you with the same green eyes as Mike. He looked scared, on edge and disheveled.

“Uh, yeah. Sure- sure.” Opening the door wider you gestured them in. As you lead him into the living room, you tried to remember the last time you saw Matt. Before Cora was born for sure. You sat down in a chair across from Matt.

“So. I’m sure you have a lot of questions for me about now,” Matt said sheepishly.

Isaac and Cora came into the living area upon hearing the new voice. “Who’s that?” Isaac asked. Cora climbed into your lap and gave Matt a shy smile.

“This is Matt. Daddy’s brother.” You informed both kids. “Isaac you were really little when you met him.”

“Wow. He’s gotten big, Y/N. And I’ve never met …”

“Cora. Her name is Cora.” You sighed as he fidgeted with the baby blanket. “Matt.” His eyes came up to meet yours. “What’s going on? You have a baby. We haven’t seen you in over two years.”

Matt told you once he felt more comfortable talking to you than he did Mike or his Dad especially. You did your best to help him. Once even clearing out your savings to pay for his rehab. Which Mike didn’t know about until after the fact.

He took a deep breath. “His name is Beckett. His mom took off right after he was born. I’m drowning here, Y/N. I need-we need somewhere to stay. Just for a little bit.”

“Not happening, Matt.” Mike’s deep voice startled you. You hadn’t heard him come in the room. Turning, you saw Mike’s jaw clench, his eyes narrowed at Matt. “Please tell me that is not your kid.”

“Daddy!” Cora jumped from your lap and ran to Mike, his face softened immediately. Mike scooped her up and kissed her cheek. “Wook a baby.”

“I see.” Mike turned his attention to you. “Can we talk in the kitchen please, Y/N.”

Mike turned on his heel and left the room before you could respond. “We’ll be right back Matt.” You nodded at him. “Isaac. C’mon, you need to finish breakfast.”

Mike was holding Cora giving her pieces of banana when you came into the kitchen.  “The answer is no, Y/N. Before you even go there. He has taken advantage of us one too many times. He doesn’t come around unless he needs something. And where is the mother?”

“Micheal I know how he has been in the past but maybe he’s different. He looks sober and scared as hell. I can’t imagine being by myself with a newborn.” You put your arms around his waist and rested your head on his back. Both of you knew that was almost a reality a couple years ago.

“All done Mama,” Isaac called to you. “I’m gonna go play.”

“Me go too.” Cora proclaimed.

“Alright. I’ll be up to check on you in a few minutes.” You responded back.

“I don’t know, Y/N. He has burned so many bridges.” He sighed. Mike loved his brother but it would take a lot to earn his trust. Mike looked into the living room. Matt was standing looking at the family pictures, bouncing his son gently. Mike put his arm around you and pulled to his side.

“Let’s sit down and talk to him. See if he has any type of plan. Lay down rules…” 

Mike kissed your temple. “You have a big heart Y/F/N Dodds. Let’s go talk to him.”

“I’ll put on more coffee.” 

Meeting Amaro III

“Oh, no fucking way.” You said to yourself. Bethany spotted you. She smirked and made her way over to you. This is not what you needed right now. Not that you were he surprised he called her. It just confirmed your suspicions that he was still sleeping with her. Even though he swore it was a one-time thing. God, you could be so stupid sometimes. 

Bethany stopped in front of you. “Hey Y/N.” Her voice was sickeningly sweet and fake like the rest of her. She shook her head. “Sam said you pressed charges against him. Said you have some cop boyfriend that’s lying for you.”

“Why are you here? She gave a smug look. “You’re posting his bail, aren’t you? God Bethany. You are dumber than you look.” You started walking away shaking your head.

“Don’t be jealous, Y/N. He picked me. You’re out.” Bethany stuck her chest out and flipped her hair. 

Nick came back into the squad room talking to a woman that was obviously not a friendly conversation. He made his way over in time to catch the end of the exchange. He was instantly upset, especially after the talk he just had with Sam. 

“Bethany he is an abuser. Look at my face.” Pointing to your bruised and cut cheek, “he did this. You know how he is, what he does. This isn’t the first time he’s done this.”

She took in your appearance for a beat. “Don’t make him mad. Give him what he needs like I do. And I’m giving him what you couldn’t. ” Bethany placed a hand on her belly.

You looked at her in shock. “You’re-you’re pregnant?” So many emotions flooded your body all at once. Anger, hurt, betrayal, confusion… “How could-you know…

Nick gently grabbed your arm. “We’re leaving.” If looks could kill, Bethany would no longer be a problem for you. He escorted you out of the squad room into the hall. “You okay?” He turned you to face him, his brown eyes looked worried.

It felt like you were in some kind of a nightmare. Tears were stinging your eyes. No, not here. Your stomach rolled. Taking a deep cleansing breath, you tried to push down the nausea. No luck, you were going to be sick. Sprinting to the restroom, you slammed the door behind and emptied the contents of your stomach into the toilet.

Nick waited a couple of minutes before knocking on the door. “Y/N? Are you okay? Can I get you anything?”

After splashing water on your face and rinsing your mouth, you exited the restroom. Nick looked at you, face etched with concern. “Just- I want to go home.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to warm yourself.

“Sure.” He started to put his arm around you but stopped. You were a victim, he couldn’t overstep that boundary. His protective nature kicked into overdrive, especially after witnessing the conversation with Bethany and the one he had with Sam.