Tag: therapy

When you have the chance pls pls pls continue the thing with Sonny going to therapy because he sounds like he’s losing his shit and I’m extremely :( about it -🐝

carisi-dreams:

aww sonny is going to be okay! I promise! have a little snippet that takes place right after part 4 @my-sonshine

Fifteen minutes later and the phone rang for the intercom and buzzer. With a quick glance at the security camera you buzzed him in and then stood to unlock the front office door before perching on the edge of Brittany’s desk once more. It was barely two minutes before the door was being opened, Sonny must have skipped the elevator in favor of the stairs, and he was rushing through it. You gave him a watery smile when you saw him, the look on his face slightly relieved, but still a mix of panicked and apologetic.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said as he strode over and wrapped you in his arms, mouth to your temple as he gripped you tightly. “I’m sorry,” the repeated pulling back and running a thumb over your cheek as his eyes traced your face. You felt yourself getting emotional again and at this Sonny made a noise in the back of his throat. “Don’t cry. C’mere, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m okay. We’re okay. Everything will be okay. I’ve got an appointment to see Dr. Lindstrom next week. It’s going to be okay,” he repeated and it was all you could do to nod in his embrace, clutching the back of his shirt tightly.

“I’m sorry for how I brought it up,” you choked out and he tried to shush you, but you went on. His fingers were running through your hair gently, but the arm wrapped around you was still holding you in a vice like grip. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like…like I was suggesting it because I didn’t want to deal with your feelings. That’s not true, Sonny,” you said urgently and he pulled back to look at your face again.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. Nick was right, I had my head up my ass. I just felt—I felt like I was drowning and I had no idea had to swim. But I needed to stay afloat and when you suggested that—that I need help, it made me feel like I failed. I wasn’t fooling anyone and I wasn’t fooling myself,” he said quietly with a sorrowful look as he brushed tears from your cheeks. Your face in his hands now he bent down slowly. “This okay?” he murmured and you nodded your head and reached up to clutch his arm.

“Please,” you breathed and he closed the gap and kissed you. “Please,” you repeated breaking the kiss and he dove back in deeper, tongue dipping into your mouth just this side of frantic still.

“Office, office,” Sonny broke away and chanted and you nodded your head as he picked you up and started walking, fumbling with the door separating reception from the back offices before continuing on his way. He dropped kisses to your temple, your forehead, your cheeks as he walked carefully and you turned your face up to them like a flower to the sun.

“This a good idea?” you asked carefully after he managed to set get you in your office and kick the door behind him, dropping you on the couch. He whined and kissed your neck before kissing his way back up to your lips.

“Don’t know. What do you—” he started and you cut him off with another kiss.

“Think we have a lot of talking to do,” you murmured against his mouth and he nodded his head before kissing you.

“We do. We will,” he promised and you gripped the back of his hair and tugged lightly.

“After?” you suggested breathlessly and he nodded again, fumbling one handed now with your pants.

“After. Promise. Right now I just—” you bumped noses with him and pushed his hands out of the way so that you could shimmy out of your pants.

“Yeah. Yes, Sonny. I need—please,” you pleaded and he was unzipping his pants and pushing them halfway down his lips before covering you with his body again.

“I got you. I’m going to take care of you. Take care of us,” Sonny swore and before you could reply he slid completely in and you both gasped and clutched each other tightly.

So. Many. Feelings.

Sonny gets help

Today had been a long day. Six months pregnant with baby number five and working 12 hour shifts as a Physicians Assistant in the ER took a lot out of you. As you were walking up the steps of your brownstone all you wanted was a hot shower, and the chicken parm you were told was waiting for you. But most of all seeing your boys and Sonny.

You heard the music before you unlocked the door. “Is that Miley Cyrus?” you said to yourself. You dropped your bag on the floor in the foyer. You heard your  husband’s tone deaf, Staten Island voice singing along to Party In The USA. You continued to the family room where you found him dancing and singing with your four boys, Ryan 6, Thomas 4 and the twins Nicholas and Ethan who had just turned 2 the previous week. You covered your mouth to stop the giggle from escaping. Your heart was overwhelmed with how much you loved them. As you absentmindedly rubbed your ever growing belly, you thought back over the last year and a half. 

It had been rough for Sonny, to say the least. First having a gun to his head, which still gave you chills thinking about how close you were to losing him. You’ll never forget him coming home that night. You insisted he get help but he kept telling you was ok. Then came the incident of the suspect slipping from Sonny’s grasp. Last was the car accident where a victim died. Sonny felt responsible. Liv or anyone from the station didn’t seem to think it was an issue. “He’s strong.” ”Don’t worry about him.”  “He’ll get over it.”  You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. 

 He had been depressed and was suffering from PTSD but didn’t recognize the symptoms. You did. The mood swings, loss of interest in hobbies, distance, nightmares, and anxiety. After a couple heated arguments and tears from both of you he finally went to a therapist. One day he slipped his arms around from behind, put his hands on your pregnant belly and whispered “Hey little meatball, you got yourself one smart Ma here.” He then kissed the top of your head and nuzzled his face into your neck. “Thanks Doll. Ya always seem to know what I need, even when I don’t.”

You brought yourself back to the present. He had made so much progress in the last 6 months since the accident and starting therapy. You were so proud of him. It’s not easy asking for help, especially when it was you that people came to for help. 

As the chorus started again, you joined in. That got their attention. “Mama!!” You had four sets of little arms around your waist and legs. Sonny padded over to you with a ridiculous grin on his face that showed off his dimples. You would never get tired of that smile. “Hi Mama” he said and leaned down to softly kiss your lips. “Hi Daddy”, you replied. He placed his hands on your belly, “How’s my lil buttercup? Man, feels like she’s dancin’ in there!” “Oh, believe me I feel it”, you laughed and placed your hand over his. 

The boys started pulling at your other hand and saying, “C’mon Mama, dance with us!” Sonny took your hand and pulled you to him, “May I have this dance?” You giggled and said “You will have every dance for the rest of my life.” He lifted you up and gave you a passionate kiss. You started laughing against his mouth as you heard “ewwwww” from the boys. Sonny chuckled, sat you down and the dance party continued.