Imagine: Sonny Carisi sitting on the edge of a bridge on a warm summer day. Basketball shorts flap a little in the Santa Ana winds, making a sound like birds’ wings. The sun is starting to pink his pale shoulders, not covered by the muscle tank he borrowed from his husband, to the same shade as the frozen pink lemonade he sips from a thick red straw. Beside him, Nick Amaro takes off his baseball hat because it’s too warm and slides his aviators onto his face to protect against the piercing rays of the sunset their faces are turned to. Here, settled in California, they are happy and free.
Cooking with a 6 year old, 4 year old, 1 year old and a 1 month old infant was proving to be difficult. Today was Sonny’s birthday and you were determined to actually make a real meal. The last month had been nothing but reheated, frozen casseroles, take out, or anything that would cook in a microwave. Sonny insisted he didn’t care, but you did. So, you planned to make lasagna using his Ma’s recipe, salad and garlic bread. His favorite cake, German Chocolate was also on the menu.
The house was total chaos when Sonny got home, which was normal. The oldest boys, Ryan and Thomas, were running around shooting one another with Nerf darts. Ethan, your one year old, was sitting in the high chair knocking Cheerios to your dog Jonesy, laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world . Nicholas was asleep in his carrier on the counter beside you while you iced the cake.
You had just put the bread in the oven, when Sonny entered the kitchen. He picked Ethan up from his high chair and kissed his chubby cheek. When Nicholas started fussing he put the binky back in his mouth and rocked the carrier gently.
“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” Sonny asked as he dropped a kiss to your temple. “Is that lasagna and German Chocolate?” His eyes sparkled.
“Sure is. Happy birthday, babe.” You smiled up at Sonny.
Sonny tucked a loose piece of hair behind your ear. “You get more beautiful everyday.” He ducked his head giving you a scorching kiss. Sonny smiled then pecked another kiss to your lips before pulling back.
You cleared your throat. “Go change birthday boy.” You swatted his butt when he walked away. He turned a gave you an amused look. “You’ll get the rest later,” you said and winked.
When you finally arrive at your hotel and are escorted up to your room, you fall happily back into the bed. The comfort of the pillows and blankets in contrast to the plane seats is much welcomed. The room is bright, sun shining in through the balcony and onto the bold yellows and the variations of reds, oranges, and blues. With a content sigh, you slide out of the bed and make your way to the bathroom, stripping out of your clothing as you do so. You run the bath water, warm and sudsy, this is relaxing. A warm bubble bath in Italy before a dinner date with an attractive Italian-American man who has been nothing but a sweetheart to you since you’ve run into each other at the airport.
You slide into the tub, smiling as you body submerges into the water. Your tense muscles start to relax and you close your eyes, resting your head against the back of the tub. You have a feeling that your date tonight is going to go well.
After your fingers and toes are pruned, you climb out of the tub, wrapping yourself up in the hotel robe and walking back into your room. You pull your clothes out of your bag, finding an appropriate outfit to meet up with Sonny: a casual, pale-yellow dress with tan sandals. After dressing in the clothes you find yourself walking out to the balcony and looking out at the street below. People pass by on the street below, the atmosphere unlike that of your neighborhood back home.
“See how Daddy is holding it? All the way at the end,” Sonny explained to Caroline. “Be careful CeeCee.”
“It pretty Daddy,” Caroline said with a giggle. She waved the sparkler around making fleeting lines of light against the dark sky.
Sonny lit sparklers for the boys. He stayed crouched down next to Caroline keeping a watchful eye on her and the boys.
“All done,” she announced when the sparkler fizzled out.
“Want another one?” Sonny asked her. She shook her head no and ran off to chase the boys.
Sonny stood from his crouched position when you came to stand beside him. “Can’t believe she’s two,” Sonny marveled. He got a wistful look in his eyes as he looked down at you.
“Oh no way, Dominick. I know that look,” you stated.
“What’s one more? Hmmm?” He wrapped you in his arms. “It’s so much fun makin’ em,” he said teasingly. His lips met yours for a tender kiss.
“Your charming Sonny, but not that charming,” you quipped.
“Eh. Never hurts to ask.” he shrugged his shouders and grinned.
A few days later you wanted to go into town to the farm market for some fresh produce. It would be closing for the season soon. You planned to make apple butter and possibly a pie. Luis was readying himself for work when you told him your plan for the day. He moved around the bedroom in just his suit pants and shirt hanging open showing off his washboard abs with his tie hanging around his neck haphazardly.
“You’re staring, carina,” Luis remarked with a grin and started buttoning his shirt.
“Sorry. Just can’t help myself.” You climbed out of bed. “Here let me,” you offered, motioning to his tie.
“You’re so beautiful.” Luis looked down at you with sincere eyes.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” you responded, then gave him a wonk. “There. Perfect,” you said. You patted his chest. “Want anything from the farmers market?”
“Some jams or jellies and whatever fresh veggies look good.” He leaned down and kissed your temple. “Take Cesar and one of the new guys,” he instructed. “I love you, Y/N.” He wrapped you in his arms and kissed you deeply.
“I love you too, Luis,” you responded after he broke away.
Sonny followed you as you wandered around the market. It was the first interaction you had with him since he had arrived. A shopping basket of fresh vegetables, apples and jams hung from your arm. He had been quiet all afternoon, which was a nominally for Sonny Carisi.
“You got everything you need?” The way he asked the question you knew he wasn’t talking about the items in your basket.
“More or less,” you informed him. “Just a few more things.”
“Here. Let carry that for ya,” he offered and reached for the basket.
“No thank you. I can manage,” you answered quickly.
“Yeah. I’m sure you can. Seem to managin’ things pretty well,” he concluded in a sarcastic tone.
Sonny stopped abruptly when you spun on your heel to face him. “You’ve been here for five days and that’s the only thing you have to say to me? I don’t know what you think you know, Dominick but you don’t know a damn thing,” you spat.
“I know that you’re screwing him,” he shot back in a low whisper. “You’re in love with him.”
“What are you jealous? It was one night, hence the name one night stand.” You thought back to that night. It had been a blur of drinks, a steamy cab ride back to Sonny’s apartment, making love all night, then you sneaking out the next morning without saying goodbye. That was the last time you had seen Sonny until a few days ago.
“Just didn’t realize you were so ‘friendly,” he said his voice laced with disdain.
“Fuck you, Dominick.” You shoved past him to pay for your items. Sonny trailed behind you.
Cesar opened the SUV door. “You okay Ms. Y/L/N?” He looked between you an Sonny.
“Just not feeling well. Thank you for your concern,” you replied and gave him a tight smile.
“Ouch! Shit! ” you exclaimed as the sharp knife cut through the pad of your thumb. You grabbed a dish towel, wrapped it around your thumb and held pressure. “Sorry about the language, Mama.”
Carmen, Luis’ mother waved it off and ushered you to the sink. She unwrapped the towel and ran cold water over the cut. “Oh mija. This looks bad. You need to see the doctor,” Carmen concluded. She took the first aid kit from under the sink and used the gauze to wrap it.
“Everything okay ladies?” Cesar asked. “I heard a scream.”
“Y/N cut her finger. I think it needs stitches,” Carmen informed him.
“I’ll pull the car around,” Cesar said.
“Really it’s not necess-”
“Nonsense. I’ll call Luis, let him know,” Carmen reassured you.
“Okay. Thank you Mami,” you smiled at the kind woman.
She kissed your cheek and walked you to the door.
To your surprise, it was Sonny opening the door to the SUV. “I thought Cesar was taking me.”
“You’re stuck with me,” he said with plastered on smile.
“Splendid.” You returned the same fake smile that you were given.
“Hey uh, I wanna apologize for what I said earlier. I was way outta line. I don’t think-” He was silent for a few moments. Sonny met your gaze in the rearview mirror. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me too,” you replied softly as you fought back tears.
Luis was all but running through the doors as you were leaving the exam room.
Relief flooded his face. “Mama said you cut your thumb pretty bad. Said you were making an apple pie.” It was his favorite pie and you knew he had been looking forward to it all day.
“Seven stitches,” you informed him, showing your bandage as you gave him a thumbs up. “I think the pie may be ruined. Sorry babe.”
He hugged you to his chest. “Don’t worry about the pie. I’m just happy to hear you have all your fingers,” he said in a teasing tone.
The dull throb from your thumb woke you. A glance at the digital clock told you it was 2 AM. Luis wasn’t in bed, which wasn’t too unusual. He didn’t sleep much. Most times you found him alone on the patio smoking a cigar, deep in thought. And that’s where you found him tonight.
“Hey you,” you said softly, pulling your robe around you staving off the crisp Autumn air. Luis had a fire going in the outside fireplace.
“Mi amor. Come. Sit.” He patted the space beside him on the lounger. You did as requested and curled into his side.
“I didn’t mean to bother you. I know you’ve had a lot on your mind lately.”
“You are never a bother,” he said reassuringly. One arm wrapped around your upper half. He gently caressed your arm and placed a tender kiss to your injured thumb. He snubbed out his cigar. “Wish it could always be like this, just me and you.”
“That would be nice,” you confirmed. It would be. If only Luis wasn’t a drug dealing sex trafficker and you weren’t an undercover detective. Why couldn’t have things been different. Perhaps another time, another place.
Sonny was right, you were in love with Luis and you didn’t know what you were going to do. You sighed and snuggled in closer to Luis’ chest. You’d deal with that when the time came. You knew that time was coming soon…
SVU addict 