detective-sonshine:

A/N- Omg… I cried so hard when I wrote this… all I want to do is crawl into a hole and drink away my sorrows now wow… anyways I hope you enjoy? Does one even enjoy this stuff? Ugh

Warnings- Well… if you love sonny you will probably cry. 

It was 6:45 as you walked into La Rose, Time Square’s
fanciest restaurant, in a new, skin-tight little black dress and velvet maroon
stilettos. Normally, you would wear jeans and a cute blouse out to dinner, but
tonight was different. Tonight, was you and your boyfriend, Sonny’s, four-year
anniversary. You were so excited. The two of you hadn’t seen each other much
lately. He lived in a small apartment two blocks away from his job, while you
lived half an hour away. It was hard to make time for each other after he would
get off. His work as an SVU detective really took a toll on your relationship. However,
your love for each other was strong. Sonny had promised you that tonight would
be the best night of your life. You couldn’t wait to see him.

“Hi, I have a reservation,” you say to the host.

“Name?”

“Carisi.”

The host smiled. “Right this way, Mrs. Carisi.” Your heart fluttered,
and butterflies erupted in your stomach. You weren’t Mrs. Carisi but you wanted
to be. You and Sonny always talked about your lives together, but he worked too
much. Someday, you think.

You were sat on the side of the restaurant, right next to the
window. The view was breathtaking. You had been in New York for almost ten years,
but you had never stopped to look at Times Square at night. It was beautiful.

“What can I get you started to drink, ma’am?” the waiter
startled you.

“Um… I will have a glass of your house Rosé, and he will
have a Johnnie Walker Blue, neat.” You say, gesturing to the empty seat across
from you. He nodded, walking towards the bar.

You took a deep breath, looking towards the door. You were
early, so you weren’t too worried when you didn’t see your boyfriend. When your
beverage arrived, you sipped lightly, trying to pace yourself.

15 minutes had passed, and you still weren’t too worried
yet. Sonny was usually a little late when the two of you would go out. And, he knew
how important tonight was, as he was the one who made all the plans for this
evening. He had promised you numerous times that he would make it.

By the time your glass was empty, it was already 7:30. You looked
around again, first for Sonny, then for your waiter. You were getting nervous. You
hadn’t seen Sonny in a week and you hoped he would like your outfit. You needed
another drink. When you couldn’t find your waiter, you picked up the small
glass containing Sonny’s whiskey, and brought it to your lips, downing it. The liquid
burned your throat as it trickled down into your stomach.

By 8:30, you had ordered a bottle of your Rosé and had a shot
of patron. But at this point, you weren’t nervous, you were worried. You had
made several calls to Sonny so far with no answer. You scrolled through the
contacts before making a call to Olivia Benson.

“Benson,” She answered. You could here small noise in the
background.

“Hey Liv, its Y/N. I was just wondering if you could possibly
put Sonny on the phone?” you ask shyly. She had always intimidated you greatly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but Sonny isn’t here. He left today at
noon.”

“Oh…” you say dumbfounded. “Th-thank you.” You hand up the
phone and look out the window. The worry had left your body. Now in its place
was anger. He hadn’t contacted you all day and now you find out he’s been off
work for several hours now.

Your waiter came up to you. “Ma’am are you sure I can’t get
you any food while you wait on your guest?”

You looked down at the time. It was now 9 pm. You shook your
head.

“I’m sorry to have wasted your time. Can I get the check?”
he nodded, walking away.

You were pissed. When he came back with the check and a wine
bag, you tipped him well. You put on your coat and walked out of the restaurant
to grab a cab. The alcohol that was stirring around in your veins made you
exceptionally angry at your boyfriend. He had promised you he would show up. Once
in a cab, you gave the driver the address to Sonny’s apartment. You dialed his
number once more. When you got his voicemail once again, you decided to leave a
message.

“Dominick, you better be lying on the side of a ditch right
now,” you say through your teeth. The driver looked back at you through his
rearview mirror with a shocking look.

When you arrived at his apartment, you stumbled out of the
vehicle. Taking your keys out of your purse, you opened the main door and walked
through the hallway. Once you reached his door, a wave of fear brushed through
your body. What if he’s cheating on me?

You put your key in and turned the lock. The door opened,
and you walked in, nervously. The only thing allowing you to proceed was the
liquid courage running through your body. You opened his bedroom door and saw
him passed out on the floor with several bottles of beer surrounding him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you yell down at him. You dropped
to your knees and began to shake him.

“Sonny wake the fuck up,” you exclaim sternly. He groans and
opens his eyes. When they meet yours, they go wide.

“Shit, doll. What time is it?”

“Quarter till 10.”

He grabs his phone from beside him and sees all the missed
calls he has.

“Doll, I am so sorry.”

“Save it, Dom. I am so sick of your excuses. I was at the
restaurant for more than two hours only to find out that you’ve been off till
noon. You’ve had more than enough time to get off your ass and be on time. But no.
You decided to sit here and get shitfaced while your girlfriend is halfway across
town, worried about where you may be. I’m done,” you threw your hands in the air.

“Doll don’t say that. I—”

“Look at you!” you interrupted. You gestured to his body. His
hair was matted against his head and he was still wearing his work clothes, though
now they were severely wrinkled.

“This is absolutely ridiculous! You always say how you wish
we could spend more time together and yet instead of actually spending time
with me, you do this. Tonight was supposed to be a celebration of us but you
blew it. You promised me Sonny,” you attempt to say through the tears that are
now spilling out of your eyes.

“I know, doll. I just got nervous, so I thought I’d have a
beer to calm my nerves and—”

“Well I sure hope you can stay calm when I out this door.” His
eyes sadden, and he follows you through his apartment.

You try to wipe the tears out of your face and reach the
door, but Sonny beats you to it, blocking you from leaving.

“Don’t do this, Y/N.”

“What else am I supposed to do, Sonny. You’ve left me with no
choice!” By this time, you were sobbing and so was he. “I can’t keep going through
this cycle with you. We are going nowhere. You never have enough time for me
and its not working out. You know its not. I can’t just put my life on hold for
you, not anymore.”

“So, what now? Is this the end? After everything we’ve been
through?” His previously blue eyes were now a light shade of grey. They were
red and puffy, you were sure yours were as well. A part of you wanted nothing
more than to hold him close to you and say you were sorry. People make
mistakes. You could understand drinking to calm your nerves as that was what you
were doing tonight too. But before you could talk yourself out of it, you stood
up on your tippy toes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. You lingered there
for a few seconds, shaking. You pulled away and couldn’t bring yourself to look
back at him as you walked out the door.

3^rd person
POV – Sonny

 

He dropped to his knees, shaking and sobbing, as the love of
his life walked through the door. He didn’t have the strength to chase after
her. She was right. He never puts her first. He works too much. He was a fuck
up.

He continued to sob as he sat down on the floor. He pulled
the light blue box out of his back pocket and opened it, staring at the ring he
had bought for her today after work. Looking at what could’ve been, he threw it
across the room, utterly and completely disappointed in himself. If only he had
stopped drinking after that one beer, if only he had spent more time with her,
if only he had given her all his love… if only.

Jesus. That one hurt.