“Is this the end? After everything we’ve been through?” with mr sonny carisi?

detective-sonshine:

A/N- Omg… I cried so hard when I wrote this… all I want to do is crawl into a hole and drink away my sorrows now wow… anyways I hope you enjoy? Does one even enjoy this stuff? Ugh

Warnings- Well… if you love sonny you will probably cry.

It was 6:45 as you walked into La Rose, Time Square’s
fanciest restaurant, in a new, skin-tight little black dress and velvet maroon
stilettos. Normally, you would wear jeans and a cute blouse out to dinner, but
tonight was different. Tonight, was you and your boyfriend, Sonny’s, four-year
anniversary. You were so excited. The two of you hadn’t seen each other much
lately. He lived in a small apartment two blocks away from his job, while you
lived half an hour away. It was hard to make time for each other after he would
get off. His work as an SVU detective really took a toll on your relationship. However,
your love for each other was strong. Sonny had promised you that tonight would
be the best night of your life. You couldn’t wait to see him.

“Hi, I have a reservation,” you say to the host.

“Name?”

“Carisi.”

The host smiled. “Right this way, Mrs. Carisi.” Your heart fluttered,
and butterflies erupted in your stomach. You weren’t Mrs. Carisi but you wanted
to be. You and Sonny always talked about your lives together, but he worked too
much. Someday, you think.

You were sat on the side of the restaurant, right next to the
window. The view was breathtaking. You had been in New York for almost ten years,
but you had never stopped to look at Times Square at night. It was beautiful.

“What can I get you started to drink, ma’am?” the waiter
startled you.

“Um… I will have a glass of your house Rosé, and he will
have a Johnnie Walker Blue, neat.” You say, gesturing to the empty seat across
from you. He nodded, walking towards the bar.

You took a deep breath, looking towards the door. You were
early, so you weren’t too worried when you didn’t see your boyfriend. When your
beverage arrived, you sipped lightly, trying to pace yourself.

15 minutes had passed, and you still weren’t too worried
yet. Sonny was usually a little late when the two of you would go out. And, he knew
how important tonight was, as he was the one who made all the plans for this
evening. He had promised you numerous times that he would make it.

By the time your glass was empty, it was already 7:30. You looked
around again, first for Sonny, then for your waiter. You were getting nervous. You
hadn’t seen Sonny in a week and you hoped he would like your outfit. You needed
another drink. When you couldn’t find your waiter, you picked up the small
glass containing Sonny’s whiskey, and brought it to your lips, downing it. The liquid
burned your throat as it trickled down into your stomach.

By 8:30, you had ordered a bottle of your Rosé and had a shot
of patron. But at this point, you weren’t nervous, you were worried. You had
made several calls to Sonny so far with no answer. You scrolled through the
contacts before making a call to Olivia Benson.

“Benson,” She answered. You could here small noise in the
background.

“Hey Liv, its Y/N. I was just wondering if you could possibly
put Sonny on the phone?” you ask shyly. She had always intimidated you greatly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but Sonny isn’t here. He left today at
noon.”

“Oh…” you say dumbfounded. “Th-thank you.” You hand up the
phone and look out the window. The worry had left your body. Now in its place
was anger. He hadn’t contacted you all day and now you find out he’s been off
work for several hours now.

Your waiter came up to you. “Ma’am are you sure I can’t get
you any food while you wait on your guest?”

You looked down at the time. It was now 9 pm. You shook your
head.

“I’m sorry to have wasted your time. Can I get the check?”
he nodded, walking away.

You were pissed. When he came back with the check and a wine
bag, you tipped him well. You put on your coat and walked out of the restaurant
to grab a cab. The alcohol that was stirring around in your veins made you
exceptionally angry at your boyfriend. He had promised you he would show up. Once
in a cab, you gave the driver the address to Sonny’s apartment. You dialed his
number once more. When you got his voicemail once again, you decided to leave a
message.

“Dominick, you better be lying on the side of a ditch right
now,” you say through your teeth. The driver looked back at you through his
rearview mirror with a shocking look.

When you arrived at his apartment, you stumbled out of the
vehicle. Taking your keys out of your purse, you opened the main door and walked
through the hallway. Once you reached his door, a wave of fear brushed through
your body. What if he’s cheating on me?

You put your key in and turned the lock. The door opened,
and you walked in, nervously. The only thing allowing you to proceed was the
liquid courage running through your body. You opened his bedroom door and saw
him passed out on the floor with several bottles of beer surrounding him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you yell down at him. You dropped
to your knees and began to shake him.

“Sonny wake the fuck up,” you exclaim sternly. He groans and
opens his eyes. When they meet yours, they go wide.

“Shit, doll. What time is it?”

“Quarter till 10.”

He grabs his phone from beside him and sees all the missed
calls he has.

“Doll, I am so sorry.”

“Save it, Dom. I am so sick of your excuses. I was at the
restaurant for more than two hours only to find out that you’ve been off till
noon. You’ve had more than enough time to get off your ass and be on time. But no.
You decided to sit here and get shitfaced while your girlfriend is halfway across
town, worried about where you may be. I’m done,” you threw your hands in the air.

“Doll don’t say that. I—”

“Look at you!” you interrupted. You gestured to his body. His
hair was matted against his head and he was still wearing his work clothes, though
now they were severely wrinkled.

“This is absolutely ridiculous! You always say how you wish
we could spend more time together and yet instead of actually spending time
with me, you do this. Tonight was supposed to be a celebration of us but you
blew it. You promised me Sonny,” you attempt to say through the tears that are
now spilling out of your eyes.

“I know, doll. I just got nervous, so I thought I’d have a
beer to calm my nerves and—”

“Well I sure hope you can stay calm when I out this door.” His
eyes sadden, and he follows you through his apartment.

You try to wipe the tears out of your face and reach the
door, but Sonny beats you to it, blocking you from leaving.

“Don’t do this, Y/N.”

“What else am I supposed to do, Sonny. You’ve left me with no
choice!” By this time, you were sobbing and so was he. “I can’t keep going through
this cycle with you. We are going nowhere. You never have enough time for me
and its not working out. You know its not. I can’t just put my life on hold for
you, not anymore.”

“So, what now? Is this the end? After everything we’ve been
through?” His previously blue eyes were now a light shade of grey. They were
red and puffy, you were sure yours were as well. A part of you wanted nothing
more than to hold him close to you and say you were sorry. People make
mistakes. You could understand drinking to calm your nerves as that was what you
were doing tonight too. But before you could talk yourself out of it, you stood
up on your tippy toes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. You lingered there
for a few seconds, shaking. You pulled away and couldn’t bring yourself to look
back at him as you walked out the door.

3^rd person
POV – Sonny

He dropped to his knees, shaking and sobbing, as the love of
his life walked through the door. He didn’t have the strength to chase after
her. She was right. He never puts her first. He works too much. He was a fuck
up.

He continued to sob as he sat down on the floor. He pulled
the light blue box out of his back pocket and opened it, staring at the ring he
had bought for her today after work. Looking at what could’ve been, he threw it
across the room, utterly and completely disappointed in himself. If only he had
stopped drinking after that one beer, if only he had spent more time with her,
if only he had given her all his love… if only.

Jesus. That one hurt.

just-call-me-bitch:

childofbarisi:

gif credit: x

You two had only been married three months. You were driving down the road towards his parents house when it happened. You kept changing the radio stations since nothing you liked was on. Sonny chuckled as he gently hit your hand so you’d settle on a station.

“You need to stop changing stations so often. Just put one and stay on it.” Sonny laughed as he continued to drive down the road. You two were stopped at a red light as you turned to Sonny.

“Y’know, sunshine, I’m so glad that I met you. I just love you so much and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You said as you grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. Sonny chuckled and turned to look at you.

“You glad you’re Mrs Carisi?” Sonny asked as he placed a kiss on your cheek. You nodded as you smiled brightly up at him.

“I dreamed of our wedding day the day we met.” You whispered. Sonny smiled and turned to look at the traffic light. After a moment it turned to green and Sonny had pressed on the gas to get the car to move. Sonny glanced at you with a quick smile before his eyes focused on the road. Before either of you knew, you heard the sound of a car horn before felt the impact of the other vehicle hitting yours.

The sound of sirens were heard all around as Sonny slowly opened his eyes. He was still sitting in the car with his forehead leaning against the steering wheel. It took Sonny a moment to realize what happened and turned to quickly look at you. You were barely awake as you were pressing onto a large wound you had gotten from being punctured in the abdomen. Sonny noticed the blood everywhere and quickly unbuckled himself.

“Hold on, doll. I got you.” Sonny had said as he got out of the car. He rushed to your side of the car and quickly yanked the door open. It took him a moment to get the door open but once he did, he unbuckled you and carefully removed you from the car.

“Sonny, I-”

“Shh, it’s alright, doll. You’re going to be alright.” Sonny repeated as he held you close against his body. You just groaned out as you looked up at him.

Sonny gently laid you on the ground and pulled his jacket off to place it under your head. He placed his hands on your wound and apply enough pressure to hopefully to stop the bleeding until the ambulance had arrived. You glanced up at Sonny and noticed that his eyes looked panicked, worried and even pained. How could he allow this happen to you? You were in and out and Sonny kept mumbling to you, to hold on just a bit longer and that you’d be okay. You had moved to place your hands overs his Sonny leaned down and placed his forehead against yours. Again, he whispered to hold on and that you’d be fine. He placed his lips against yours as he once against placed his forehead against yours. When you didn’t open your eyes again, Sonny began to panic.

“Doll? Hey, open your eyes.” Sonny said softly as he pulled away from you. He looked at you and stared at your chest and he noticed you were no longer breathing. He didn’t know what to do as the ambulance finally arrived. They rushed over to Sonny and tried to pull him away from your body to look you over. He refused.

“Sir, please.” Finally a police officer came over to pull Sonny away from you. He protested as he moved to be beside you.

“No! I’m not leaving my wife’s side!” Sonny protested as he tried to not to cry. He couldn’t lose you, he wasn’t going to allow it to happen. After a few minutes, the EMT’s turned to look at Sonny as one sighed.

“I’m sorry, sir. She’s gone…”

Hearing those words absolutely broke Sonny’s heart. You couldn’t be gone. Sonny kept repeating over and over again that this couldn’t be happening, grabbing your hand and telling you to wake up. You name kept coming out of his mouth as tears streamed down his face. Sonny was given a few minutes before he was escorted to an ambulance to be looked at. He had something wrapped around his shoulders as he closed his eyes and tried to process everything that had happened.

“Carisi? Carisi.” Sonny heard a voice calling his name after a few minutes as he slowly opened his eyes. He turned to his right and saw Amanda sitting next to him in the back of the ambulance.

“H-huh?” Sonny asked. His voice was no louder than a whisper as the blonde looked over her partner who was covered in blood.

“Lieu is on her way. Are you alright? The cops and EMTs had said you kept whispering someone’s name? (Y/N)?” Amanda had asked her partner. He just sat there and opened and closed his mouth a few times before looking down at his hands. He nodded as a few tears had threatened his eyes.

“Y-Yeah. I’m good…” Sonny said. He looked up slowly and stared at the vehicle in front of him. He had just gotten into a car accident with Jules. The memory of the accident you and Sonny had gotten into eight years before was playing over in his head. He tried to save Jules like how he tried to save you but he was unsuccessful both times. Once Olivia had joined Amanda and Sonny, they both explained the situation.

“Lieu,” Sonny called out as Olivia began to walk away, “if it’s alright with you, I-I’d like to take a few days off…” Sonny called out to the brunette. Olivia nodded and told Sonny to take off as much time as he needed. After being checked one last time, Sonny’s mother was called to come pick him up.

The next morning, Sonny had gone back to his apartment to quickly change before heading to one of the flower shops by where he lives. He grabbed a beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers before paying and heading down the sidewalk. He walked a few blocked before he found a small cemetery. He walked a bit farther before he found a small tombstone and placed the bouquet on it. Sonny sighed softly as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Hey, doll. I, uh, I miss ya…” Sonny had whispered softly. He just stared at the stone with your name on it as he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn’t find the words he wanted to say. He just stood there and paced around for a moment before stopped.

“I was in an accident yesterday. She died on me, j-just like you… I guess I had a moment where I thought Jules was you. Amanda asked me about you and I just couldn’t tell her. God, I miss you so, so much.” Sonny said as he wipe tears away from his eyes. Today was one of the days he missed you the most. He just stared at the stone for a moment before letting out a very shaky sigh.

“I love you, so much.” Sonny whispered before slowly turning and walking away. He didn’t want to leave but he needed to spend time with his family. His parents held a very nice family dinner where everyone was there, his sister, his nieces and nephews and even Bella’s fiancé. It was nice to be around the family after what had just happened to Sonny.

When Monday rolled around, Sonny was back at work. He was sitting at his desk just staring at his computer when Amanda walked over to him. She sat in the chair next to his desk and just stared at him. She wanted to ask about what was going through his mind from the accident and wanted to know who the name he kept repeating was. A sigh escaped the blondes lips as she turned her full attention to her partner and stared at him.

“Who is (Y/N), Carisi?” He knew this was coming. That she was going to ask about you. Sonny stared at Amanda before shifting in his seat some.

“She was my wife… we got into a car accident eight years ago heading to my parents for dinner. She passed away, just like Jules…” Sonny had said. Amanda was surprised that Sonny was married, considering his ex-girlfriend he recently had and the time he almost kissed her.

“Damn, I-I’m Sorry about that, Dominick. Really. I’m here for you if you ever wanna talk.” Amanda said as she grabbed her partners hand. Sonny nodded as he looked up at her.

“Thanks, Amanda. I appreciate it.” Sonny smiled some as he turned back to his computer. Amanda stood up and gently pat Sonny’s shoulder before heading over to her desk. Sonny sighed as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and slowly went to his photos and began to scroll through the pictures he had of the two a you. A smile moved over his lips as he found the few wedding selfies you two had taken.

God, he missed you so much.

It’s cool I didn’t need to be happy today

This shattered my heart and crushed my soul. @childofbarisi you warned us but damn.

my-sonshine:

@svucarisiaddict @amaroforpresident

She’s a child. Barely sixteen. There’s baby fat thick on her cheeks, freckles on the bridge of her nose, a young lilt to her voice as she begs for her life. Why would someone take out a hit on a girl so young and innocent? Maybe it would be easier if she did something, or Nick thought she did. All he had been told was that she had to die.

“Please, mister, I’ll do whatever you want-“

If that’s not heartbreaking, he doesn’t know what is. She should be in class right now, not sitting on the bed of this hotel room, struggling as Nick holds her wrist still with latex-gloved fingers. Make it look like a suicide, he had been told. It would be cowardly to look away, but it’s too hard look at her face, so he just watches the stolen kitchen knife dig in and listens to her sob. He does her other arm, crookedly like it was cut by her non dominant hand. Then he slides the handle into her weak, twitching fingers. She’s just a child.

The entire way back home, Nick sees her terrified, too young face.

Oh geez…. 😔