//Here it is folks…the fic that will make you hate me!// Warning: language, some violence and death

“You okay in there?” Sonny’s muffled voice came through the closed bathroom door. “Been in there awhile.”

“I’m fine, Sonny,” you responded exasperatedly. “I’ll be out in a second.” Sonny was standing outside the door when you swung it open. You rolled your eyes and brushed past him.

“I made you a cup of tea. Want to watch a movie?” Sonny suggested as he started to follow you into the bedroom.

“Nope,” you answered.

“You okay? You’re being extra cranky today.”

You spun around short of the bedroom threshold. “I don’t want to watch a movie or a damn cup of tea. And yeah I’m cranky. I’m six months pregnant and for the last month, I’ve had either you or Liv or some other cop up my ass. I need five fucking minutes to myself, Sonny!” For a second you felt bad when you saw the pained expression on Sonny’s face as you closed the bedroom door.

“You want space? You got it doll.” The sound of Sonny’s footsteps echoed down the hall. You pushed yourself away from the door.

“Nice, Y/N,” you muttered to yourself. The bed was still unmade from earlier that morning, it crossed your mind to make it but decided to crawl in bed a wrap up in the comforter instead.

When you opened your eyes, the bedroom was mostly dark except for a sliver of light coming under the door. “I’m hungry too little man,” you patted your belly. “Let’s see what we got in the fridge.”

The apartment was quiet and still. No Sonny. No Gus. Sonny left a note for you on the table. I made chicken and noodle soup. Taking Gus for a walk. I’m sorry I’ve been crowding you. I’ll be back later. Love you both.

“Okay. Looks like it’s just me and you kid.” After eating, you curled up on the couch and flicked through the channels before deciding on some reality show. It was a mind-numbing show which was what you needed. “I am such a jerk,” you murmured as you thought about your earlier exchange with Sonny.

Just as you were about to text him, there was a knock at the door. Sonny must have forgotten his key. You pushed yourself up from the couch and shuffled toward the door. “You forget your-”

“Hello again, honey,” Joseph sneered. Immediately you tried to close the door, but he forced it open pushing you off balance causing you to fall.

Your head made a sickening thud as it hit the hardwood floor. The pain shot through your head, instantly making you nauseous and making your ears ring. You screwed your eyes closed and put a hand to your head then your belly.  The last thing you remember was Joseph leaning down, saying something you couldn’t hear, then a vile grin spread across his face.

The apartment was full of cops, CSU and the squad. Sonny was standing, staring at the spot where your head hit the floor and left a small amount of blood.

Liv placed a hand on his shoulder. “Carisi.”

He dashed away tears with the back of his hand. “We had an argument this evenin’. She uh, she was tired of me coddling her. So, I took Gus for a walk to give her some space, ya know. She was sleeping. Thought I’d be back before she even woke up.”

“This was not your fault Sonny. He shot the cop we had posted outside. He planned this-”

“Like hell, this isn’t my fault,” Sonny spat out. “I’m her husband. I promised I’d protect her. That Joseph would never hurt her again. I left…” Tears spilled down his face.

“Oh, Sonny.” Liv gathered Sonny in her arms. “We’ll find her. I promise you.”

“Time to wake up,” Joseph’s voice broke through your foggy brain. He clapped his hands.

“Ahhh..” you groaned. Your head felt like it weighed a ton and had a dull ache made want to keep your eyes screwed closed. Your other arm was wrapped protectively around your abdomen.

You were in a small, dark one-room apartment with nicotine stained walls. There was s sparse furniture randomly placed around the room, including the stained, odorous couch you were lying on. Stale smoke and a pungent, stinging odor invaded your nostrils. The combination made you nauseous.

Joseph roughly sat you up, grabbed your wrists bound them with rope along with your ankles. “Ow,” you croaked. “Why are you doing this?” You turned your eyes up to Joseph and was met with cold, empty eyes.

He leaned in close, his breath hot in your ear. Cheap whiskey and cigarettes on his breath made your stomach roll. “Why?”, he questioned quietly. “Because you put me in prison you stuck up bitch!” He yelled in your ear.

“Yeah. And you know why,” you shot back. A glimpse of his hand in your peripheral vision was all you saw before he made contact with your cheek. It felt like your cheek and eye were going to explode.

“Now. Maybe you’ll be a little more amenable. Why don’t we call that husband of yours? I’m sure he’s been waiting to hear from us.”

“It’s been three hours.” Sonny ran his hand through his already tousled hair. I can’t sit here and do nothin’,” Sonny grabbed his coat from the chair and headed for the door.

“Carisi. No. Not a good idea,” Amanda asserted. “If you get a call, or they try to contact you-”

Fin approached the group. “We got Joseph on security cam carrying Y/N out of the building-”

“Carrying her?” Sonny’s phone rang, He furrowed his brow at the unknown number. “Carisi.”

“Well hello, there Detective. How ya been?” Joseph’s voice came down the line. Sonny signaled who it was and a trace was started.

“You son of a bitch. Let her go. If you hurt her-”

“You are not really in a place to tell me what to do. So here’s the deal. You get me some things I want, then we’ll talk,” Joseph remarked.

“I want to hear her voice,” Sonny stated.

“I’ll do ya one better.”

Sonny’s phone dinged. When Sonny opened the text he covered his mouth. Your face was red, and your eye swollen and your hands and feet were bound. “What do you want, Joseph?” Sonny inquired, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “I’ll get you whatever you want. Just don’t hurt her.”

“I’ll call you back in an hour with my demands. You better answer.” The line went dead.

The tech signaled that the call was traced. “Let’s move. Get ESU, and call Tucker. We’re going to need a negotiator.”

“What do we know?” Ed asked as he walked with Liv into the command center.

“Perp name is Joseph Andres. Got released two months ago after serving three years of a ten-year sentence for aggravated assault.”

“Detective Carisi’s wife?”

“Yeah. We’ve been trying to catch him for weeks. He killed an officer then kidnapped Y/N,” Liv informed him. “She’s six months pregnant.”

“Jesus. Made any demands?”

“No. He should be calling Carisi back soon.”

Tucker nodded his head. “He’s here? How is he holding up?”

“Not good,” Liv replied.

Joseph pushed the curtain open slightly with the barrel of his gun. “Shit. Fucking cops everywhere.” He paced the floor between you and the window. You held your breath anytime he got close to you.

“Just let me go,” you pleaded, “and they’ll all leave. You can still get out of-”

“Shut. Up. God, you never knew when to shut up,” he cut in. “I’m getting something for my troubles.” He picked his phone up and dialed.

Sonny sat in the mobile command center staring at his phone, willing it to ring. His mind started to wonder. His life before you had been good. He loved his job, his family and had some good friends. But something was missing. It wasn’t until he met you that he figured out what that was. He was smitten that second you walked into the room. Sonny smiled. It took a bit longer to convince you.  Sonny jumped when his phone started ringing. “Joseph what do you-”

“Let me talk to someone out there who knows what they’re doing,” Joseph snapped.

Sonny handed the phone to Tucker. “Joseph. This is Captain Tucker. Before we get started, I need a sign of good faith Y/N is okay.”

“Sonny?” Your panicked voice made Sonny squeeze his eyes closed.

“I’m here doll. I lo-”

“That’s quite enough of that. Here’s what I want.” Joseph had a laundry list of items. “You have two hours.”

“That’s going to be tight, Joseph.”

“Not my problem, now is it? Oh and Detective Carisi the cash personally.” He snarled into the phone then hung up.

“Okay, Sonny.” Fin started. “Get in there, get your girl then get the hell out.”

Sonny nodded. “Got it Sarg.”

“If anything goes wrong, we can be in there in there less than 10 seconds,” Liv said reassuringly and squeezed his shoulder.

Sonny grabbed the straps of the duffel bag, slung it over his shoulder and started to the door of the abandoned building. He took a deep breath. ‘What if he couldn’t pull this off and you got hurt or the baby got hurt. It was just recently revealed that you were having a boy. Sonny had been thrilled to learn he was going to have a son although he would have been just as happy to have a daughter.

“Okay, Joseph. Detective Carisi is on his way up with the money. He’s unarmed,” Tucker informed Joseph as Sonny entered the building.

“Did you hear that? He’s coming to rescue you. A knight in shining armor.” Joseph gave you a malicious grin.

Sonny. The one person that could make this all go away. Make it all better.  You squeezed your eyes shut. Sonny was your person. He was your world. He had brought so much good into your life. He taught you to trust again, love again. And how could someone not love Sonny? A faint smile crossed your lips.

“Snap out of it, bitch-”

“Call my wife another name or lay another finger on her and that’s going to be the last thing you do,” Sonny said confidently.

Joseph’s flashed with fear for a second before he recovered. He leveled his gun to your abdomen. “I think I’m holding all the cards, Detective.”

Sonny dropped the bag beside him on the stained carpet. “Don’t do this Joseph. You shot her, you’re going away forever this time. Take the money and go.”

“Joseph, please,” you begged. Begged for the life of your unborn baby, your life, Sonny’s life. It was a simple plea. One that you hope would reach whatever little amount of humanity he may have left in him.

Joseph lowered the gun tucking into the band of his pants letting you breathe a sigh of relief. He pulled a knife from a holder on his side and leaned over you. He put the knife to the side of your face. “You owe me one,” he whispered lowly. Then leaned over and cut the ties on your hands and ankles.  You gingerly massaged your wrists and move them around. All you wanted to do was run to Sonny’s arms. Feel the safety they provided. He turned to Sonny. “Give me the vest,” he demanded of Sonny gesturing to his flak jacket.

“Okay. You got it. All yours.” Sonny slowly slid the vest off and laid it on the bag backing away.

Joseph kept his gun on Sonny while making his way over and putting the jacket on. He grabbed the bag and started to walk out the door. “Oh, Y/N. Remember when I said if I can’t be happy, neither could you?”

The gunshot rang out in the small room then another. Time stood still. You screamed you know you did. “No! No!” Rushing over to where Sonny was on the floor you went to your knees beside him. “Sonny? Babe.” You pushed your hand to his abdomen where the bullet entered.

“Doll?” He said in a rough voice. “Oww,” he hissed through his teeth. “I love you. Have since the first day I laid eyes on you.”

“I love you too Sonny. So much. I’m sorry for snapping earlier, I-” you choked back a sob.

“Hey. Stop. It’s-ahh- it’s okay. ” He put a hand to your stomach. “I love you too little man.”

ESU, Liv, Fin, officers flooded the room. “We need medics in here now!” Liv called out.

“Joseph is gone. Self-inflicted gunshot the head. He knew he wasn’t gettin’ out of here alive,” Fin stated.

“It’s gonna be okay, doll,” Sonny whispered and was able to give you a weak smile.

“I know it will be.” You smiled then kissed his lips.

Matteo Sonny Carisi was born two days before his Dad’s birthday. You sat in the nursery, slowly rocking your newborn son. He was sated having just finished nursing. Just like his Daddy, always happy after having a good meal. A smile crossed your lips.  You ran a finger down his nose and across his chubby cheek.

“I’m going to tell you a story about your Daddy. His name was Sonny too. He was so excited to be a Daddy and loved your from the second we knew you existed. Your Daddy was the epitome of good. He was the most caring, loving and trustworthy person I have ever met. And I was one of the lucky ones to be loved by him. And I loved him. So much. He protected people. He protected us with his own life.” You laid Matteo down on his crib. “Goodnight sweet boy.”