Peter stared down aimlessly at the glass in his hand, his thoughts flitting from Pam calling out his name, to Sam Conway, so small, so scared, both people who needed him and he couldn’t help them. He could never seem to do enough. He would never be enough.
“Hey” said a familiar voice from behind him before sitting down next to him. Peter didn’t even bother to ask how he was found, it seemed like Carmen was employing everybody’s help to try and save him from his spiral and sometimes he just wanted to tell her to give up and leave him in the bottom of his glass. “You look like you could us a hug, or just to talk to someone”
“I’m fine” Peter said, without looking up, knowing that after just a look in his eyes his oldest friend would be able to know just how far from the truth that was.
It turned out Mike didn’t even need that look. “Don’t lie to me, Peter. Maybe to the rest of the squad, but not to me, you don’t have to lie to me.”
Pausing brushing your teeth you watched as Peter undressed. It was the highlight of your evening. You loved the way his muscles rippled and moved while he went about his nightly routine.
“Did you need something?” Peter smirked.
“Uh nah.” You managed to say.
“Whatever you say, kitten.” He kissed your cheek. As he walked to the bedroom, he allowed his pajama pants to fall further down his hips.
The leaves crunched under his feet as he picked his way through the graveyard, his hands were curled into fists in his jacket pockets and he didn’t know if he was shaking from the cold or out of fear.
If anyone asked, it was from the cold. But in reality, it was out of fear because even if the bodies weren’t going to rise up out of the grave and eat his brain, he was still at a cemetery at night in October.
At least it wasn’t Friday the 13th.
“You just had to pick the creepiest venue to go to at two in the morning,” he teased as he approached Peter’s hunched figure. “I’m kidding, by the way,” he rushed to add when there was no response.
Sonny threw a nervous glance around the cemetery before crouching down beside Peter and hesitantly throwing an arm around his shoulders, pressing his lips to his temple. “I’m here for you… you know that, right?”
Still no response but he counted it as a victory when Peter leaned some of his weight on him. “I love you,” he whispered.
Olivia Benson – Grande Latte, usually vanilla but sometimes cinnamon in the fall.
Amanda Rollins – Grande Blonde Espresso sometimes with an extra shot. In the fall Amanda loves a good cup of hot chocolate but she prefers to make it herself with Jesse.
Rafael Barba – Venti Soy Latte with two extra shots of espresso. Now he’s on the cold brew train but the latte is his go-to. (Secretly enjoys a few pumps of caramel.)
Peter Stone – Grande Skinny Latte, our new ADA is very health conscious, but Café Misto if he’s feeling frisky.
Sonny Carisi – Doesn’t love coffee but in a pinch he’ll order a Grande Pumpkin Spice Latte in the fall. Normally he’ll take a Grande medium roast with room. (He’s more of a social coffee drinker rather than a die hard fan like Rafael.)
Fin Tutuola – At the station he’ll just have a cup of whatever but at Starbucks he’ll order a Grande Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino. Homeboy has no fear.
Mike Dodds – Grande Dark Roast black coffee. (Secretly a big Peppermint Mocha fan in the fall.)
None of this is cannon, just a bit of fall fun. Hope you enjoy!
//And here’s something no one asked for! Alternate to my Doddverse ending of Heartfelt Passages.//
The definition of tragedy according to Merriam-Webster: noun –an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe.
Isaac and Cora giggled as you pushed them on the swings. Issac looked so much like Michael. Mike would always live on in Isaac’s eyes, and Cora’s smile. You smiled when you thought about him now. Not that losing Mike hurt any less than it did the day you lost him, it was just…different now.
For months after Mike died, you let the pain, resentment, blame and anger fuel you. You were mad at everyone. It was strange. Munson was the one you were least angry, even though he was the one who really took Mike from you and the kids. He never went to trial, just plead guilty. Avoided the death penalty, locked away for the rest of his life.
Olivia took the brunt of your anger and blame. She left Mike alone in the house with Munson. Took away your husband and children’s father. You blamed William for getting Mike the job. Damn him and his ambitious plan. You had even been mad at Mike. Which of course was ridiculous. It wasn’t like he planned on getting shot.
The townhouse you and Mike were just making a home, you never returned. All of Mike’s belongs were packed up and put in storage, except for pictures and a few of his shirts. William and Anne insisted you stay with them and you did gladly. The thought of being alone scared you.
You cried every night when the house was quiet. Isaac asked every night if Daddy was coming home. William was angry and withdrawn. Cora had colic. You lost weight, hardly slept and alienated all your friends. You were on autopilot. Surviving, but just. Those were the dark days.
On what would have been your second anniversary, you took out your wedding album. Mike had looked so handsome. Some many happy faces. The two of you thought you had years left together. Isaac sat beside you on the bed and looked through the pictures. He asked you “Where’s me?”
You grinned. “Right there. In Mommy’s belly.”
Slowly you came out of your depression. Family, friends, a good grief counselor, and medications helped. You and Olivia mended your relationship. Eventually, you and the kids got your own place, you got a job at a local hospital and things were returning to normal.
You had even gone on a few dates, a couple one night stands. And you were fine with that. You weren’t looking for a serious relationship, just someone to get tangled up with between the sheets. You knew you could never love anyone like you loved Mike.
As you were getting coffee one morning you heard a male say your name and touch your shoulder. “Y/N? Y/N Dodds?”
SVU addict 