purplebuddhaquotes:

“We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most.”

— Colleen Hoover

If this ain’t the truth.

carisi-dreams:

oops I’m on a roll writing all of this angst today.

////

Your answered your phone absently, walking quickly across campus to make it to your next class on time.

“Hi, Sonny. I can’t really talk right now,” you greeted him as you dodged someone on a bike.

“I know. Your next class starts in fifteen, right? Just needed to hear your voice,” he said roughly and you smiled at the fact he had your schedule memorized.

“Yeah, I’m on the way there now. Sorry if I sound a bit out of breath. You doing okay, baby?” you asked him. You spared a longing glance at the coffee cup in your other hand, but your other arm was wrapped around your books and preventing you from taking a much needed sip.

“This is your second to last final, right?” Sonny asked instead, dodging your question. You frowned a little, but answered him easily as you spotted a classmate and smiled.

“Yeah. Last one is next week and then I’ll be home,” you answered, pulling the phone to the side to yell a greeting at your friend. You laughed when he said something about faking his own death to get out of the final and waved him away so you could wrap up with Sonny.

“Who’s that?” Sonny asked darkly and you slowed your pace, coming to stand in front of the building your next class was in.

“Friend. Are you alright, Sonny? You sound…off,” you asked again, frowning once more as you concentrated on his voice. It was the middle of the day so there was no reason for his voice to sound sleep rough. He never took naps and he should be at work right now.

“I, uh, I just wanted to say that I missed you,” he mumbled after he cleared his throat and your frown deepened. Sonny was terrible at lying to you, even over the phone, and you knew something was going on.

“I miss you, too,” you replied sincerely. “But do you want to tell me why you really called. What’s wrong?” Sonny cleared his throat again and then pulled away to say something inaudible to someone on his side of the phone before replying.

“It’s Dom. Sr,” he said finally in a heavy voice. Your heart started beating in your chest wildly and you willed yourself to not jump to conclusions.

“Your dad? Is he okay? What happened?” you asked rapidly, hoping for more clarity. There was a long pause and rustling on Sonny’s end.

“There was a drive by,” he started in a thick voice and your heart leapt up your throat. “He’s…he’s dead,” Sonny choked out and the coffee and papers in your arm dropped to the ground as your hold on them loosened.

I love the backstories with this au.

carisi-dreams:

+So….has mc!sonny went to see his old lady yet?

++Bro im out here dying after reading all that…, need to know what happens when mc! Sonny and reader b finally talk!!!

+++What happens when sonny joins nick in the morning to see his girl???? Do they make up????

++++So….has mc!sonny went to see his old lady yet?

comes after this: Decision to make | ladies interlude | with Nick | texts | phone call | after call

/////

The door to the bedroom behind you closed softly and you stared at it for a moment over your shoulder before turning to face Sonny again. He looked wrecked, eyes bloodshot and hair hastily scraped behind his ears. The expression on his face was anguished and you suppressed the urge to comfort him. The two of you were here because of decisions he’d made and no amount of regret now could erase the memory of walking into that massage room and seeing Emily’s hands on Sonny. 

You felt slightly nauseous at the memory and your eyes cut to the coffee and muffin placed on the table by Sonny when he’d shown up with Nick. You reached out and grabbed the muffin, breaking off a small piece and popping it into your mouth and attempting to chew and swallow. Your mouth was so dry you had a hard time getting it down and you had no idea how you were going to choke the words out for the conversation you needed to say right now. Sonny took a deep breath and looked down in his lap before reaching out for your hand, but his face fell when you shook your head and tugged your hand out of his grip. Clearing his throat he bit his lip before opening his mouth.

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