Choices-A Heartfelt Passages Fic

Taking a quick second to check your phone, you saw a text from Anne asking about your Memorial Day plans for this weekend. She and William wanted to take you and kids to Coney Island. That was easy, you had to work most of the weekend. But you did have Sunday and Monday off. You sent her a text letting her know.  And of course, there was the daily text from Peter that remained unanswered like the others the had sent.  Sighing you threw your phone back in the locker.

After work, you picked the kids up at William and Anne’s. They insisted you stay for dinner, you gladly accepted. “How is your friend? What’s his name…Peter,” Anne asked innocently.

“We-we haven’t talked in a few days. Schedules you know,” you answered. It wasn’t a lie. Just a half-truth. What could you say? ‘I’m a coward. He said that he loves me and I love him. But I’m too afraid to open myself back up again.’

William thankfully changed the subject. “So, Coney Island. Maybe you can meet us there on Sunday morning?”

On Friday, you were able to get off a little early so you could see the kids off with William and Anne. The rest of the evening you shuffled around the house, did some laundry and ordered some Indian food before you flopped on the couch to watch a movie. Around 8 pm your doorbell rang. Groaning you pushed yourself off the couch to answer the door.

“Peter,” you said with surprise. “What-”

“Well, you don’t respond to my texts or return my phone calls. I thought a face to face meeting was needed. Can I come in?”

You just there looking at him. “Sure.” Opening the door wider you stepped aside to allow him entry.

Peter pulled you to his chest for a hug. “I’ve missed you,” he said into your neck.

Screwing your eyes closed you wrapped your arms around Peter’s waist, but didn’t respond. When Peter leaned back to look at you, your heart almost broke. How the hell could you do what you were about to do? Backing out of Peter’s arms you gestured to the couch. “How is Pam?” She hadn’t been hurt physically but you wondered how mentally she was going to process what happened.

“She’s okay.” Peter sat beside on the couch.

“Good. That’s good.” Taking a deep breath you took Peter’s hand in yours. It was warm, comforting and engulfed yours completely. “Peter. I’m sorry I haven’t returned your calls or texts. That wasn’t fair to you. You have been nothing but kind and good to me and the kids. They adore you-”

“I sense a but.” He pulled his hand from yours and rested his forearms on his legs.

“I’m sorry Peter. I’m just not- I can’t.” Taking a few seconds you gathered your thoughts. “I’m damaged, Peter. I’m not good for you. You deserve someone who doesn’t have the emotional baggage I do. Someone you can be spontaneous with and doesn’t have to find a sitter…”

He rose from the couch quickly and you followed suit. “That’s not what I want.” When he spun back around, his eyes were pleading. “I want you. I want the kids. I don’t care what issues you have because I have some pretty messed up stuff in my life too.”

Shaking your head. “You don’t get it. We want different things, Peter. I don’t want to be with you. For me, it was just sex nothing more.”

“That’s a lie, Y/N.”

Jutting your chin and crossing your arms over your chest you stood your ground, even if it was about to crumble under you. “It’s the truth,” you replied in a small voice. Even you couldn’t believe what you were saying.

His face fell and he looked like someone punched him in the gut. He opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind. “Wow. You are a heartless bit-” Peter gave you an icy look. Spinning on his heel, he left you sitting on the couch, slamming the door behind him when he left.

The next day at work was slow. Very unusual for a Saturday and holiday weekend. “I’m gonna take my 15,” you told your co-worker who was currently working on his second crossword of the day. Louie waved his acknowledgment.

Once you were out if the ED, you pulled your phone out to check for messages. There were a couple from Anne of the kids splashing in the water, eating hot dogs and building sand castles. ‘Looks like everyone is having fun. Can’t wait to join you tomorrow!’

Nothing from Peter. Not sure why you thought there would be other than the fact that he texted you every day for the last three months. Your phone dinged again.

[From: Nick 4:36PM] having a cookout this evening. I know it’s last minute but wanted to invite you and the kids.

[To: Nick 4:38PM] I’ll swing by after I get off work at 7. Kids are out of town with William and Anne.

[From: Nick 4:42PM] Zara is with Maria. Should be a fun evening. I have tons of burgers and beer!

[To: Nick 4:45] sounds great. Can I bring anything?

[From: Nick 4:43PM] just your beautiful self.

You shook your head and grinned. Always a flirt. A night with friends was just what you needed.

Before heading to Nick’s you stopped by home to change out of your scrubs and clean up. Remembering there was a six pack of beer that Peter had left in the fridge, you grabbed it then headed out the door.

Hearing the conversation and music you unlatched the gate and made your way to the backyard. Nick had invited quite a few people. Liv, Tucker, Fin, Amanda and her doctor boyfriend, Sonny and his girlfriend Carmen, some officers you recognized from the precinct and numerous other people laughing, drinking and eating.

“Y/N. Over here!” Liv called. “Looks like everyone is kid-free,” she stated.

“Yeah a rarity for all of us at the same time.” You went around exchanging kisses and hugs.

“There you are,” Nick said as he came up beside you. He put an arm around your shoulder and placed a kiss to your head. “Let’s get you a burger.”

“Got a cooler I can put these in?” you asked holding the beer up.

He took it from your hand. “I’ll take care of it. You eat.”

A couple hours and a few beers later you were singing karaoke, badly, very badly, with Sonny, who was worse than you if that was even possible.  The two of you were so horrible you got booed off. It didn’t matter though, you were having so much fun.

“Okay. Let’s just play some music, huh?” he said with a chuckle. Nick took your mic, then Sonny’s. “The two worst singers in America, ladies, and gentlemen! Give ‘em a hand.”

You swatted his chest playfully and Sonny laughed waving him off.

Nick put on some good dance music, grabbed your hand and spun you around then dipped you. The two of you danced for a couple of songs until a slow one came on. “Thanks that was fun.”

“Wait. You’re really gonna leave me alone.”

Looking around it was essentially you and him not partnered off. Rolling your eyes you agreed. “Just don’t step on my toes,” you joked.

Nick took your hand and put his other at the small of your back while yours rested on his shoulder. “Man this song takes me back to a musty school gym at my first dance in junior high.”

You laughed. “I had my first kiss to this song actually.”

Nick pulled you closer. “How about getting kissed to it again.” His lips were on yours before you realized what was happening. Then all of a sudden he was pulled away. “What the hell-”

Peter’s fist made contact with Nick’s jaw. Nick shook his head then came back swinging delivering a gut punch. Sonny and Fin rushed over and pulled them apart.

“Is he the reason you broke up with me? For him?” Peter bellowed.

Nick spit blood on the ground. “She made the better choice,” he shot back.

Peter and Nick started exchanging insults while Sonny and Fin held them back.

“Stop! Just stop!” you yelled above them. “What the hell is wrong with you two!?” The two men stared daggers at one another.

“What the hell were you kissing Nick?” Peter spat out his name like he had taken a bite of something bitter.

“Sounds like it’s none of your business, buddy,” Nick shot back.

“I’ve heard enough. Peter go home. I’ll call you later.” You turned to Nick. “Inside. Now.”

Nick smirked at Peter. “Bye Peter.”

“Nick. Go.” You gave him a little shove toward the back door of his house. When you looked back, Peter was watching your retreat.

Once in the house Nick went to the freezer, pulled out a cold pack and held it against his jaw. He studied your face. “What?” he asked.

“You damn well what Nicholas Amaro.”

“I saw my chance and took it.” Nick shrugged.

“But I didn’t tell you I ended things with Peter. How did you know? The only person-” You made a mental note to kiss Sonny’s butt. Leaning against the counter you pinched the bridge of your nose and collected your thoughts. “Nick. You know I love you. You’re one of my best friends.”

“Ouch. Friend-zoned,” Nick replied.

You shot a brow up at his comment.

“Sorry. About the kiss. That was wrong. But I’m not sorry about hitting that asshole back,” he stated.

“Thank you.” Nodding at where Nick held the ice pack, “how bad is it?”

“I’ve had worse from the kids I coach at the gym.” He grinned at you. “I really am sorry.”

“I know. C’mere.” You moved the ice pack. “Doesn’t need stitches. Keep icing it, take some ibuprofen.”

“Everything okay on here?” Liv asked as she poked her head on the door.

“Yeah. We’re good. Just getting ready to go,” you answered. “Good night, Nick.” You gave him a hug, which he returned.

Liv and Tucker dropped you at home. When you got inside you attempted to call Peter a couple times. Straight to voicemail. Either his phone was off or he was ignoring your calls. Your money was on the latter. Instead, you shot him a text.

[To: Peter 11:21 PM] I assume you are ignoring my calls. Touche. Not that I really need to explain myself to you but I will tell you what happened. I didn’t break things off with you for Nick. He kissed me and realized he overstepped. It’s fine if you don’t want to talk to me. I understand. I just want to know you made it home safely. Good night.

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.