Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick
And think of you
Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
Flashback, warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories
Time after
Two months since you left the apartment you shared with your boyfriend. And two months since you had actually had a decent night sleep. You listened to the clock ticking away in the kitchen. Your friend had been kind enough to let you crash on her couch until you figured out what you were going to do.
Pushing yourself to a sitting position you picked up your phone. A picture of you and Peter filled your screen from your most recent vacation to Vegas. Things had gone so bad so quickly. Leaving had been the hardest decision you ever made. Peter’s hours became longer, coming home later. He had begged you to stay, promising to change. But that was a promise you knew he couldn’t keep. Not all the times were bad, more good than bad memories. You kept those tucked away in the back of your mind.
Sometimes you picture me
I’m walking too far ahead
You’re calling to me, I can’t hear
What you’ve said
Then you say, go slow
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
On the other side of town, Peter tossed and turned in the large bed that he once shared with you. He reached out in vain but was met with a cold, empty recess. Peter sighed heavily. In the first weeks since you left, he was filling his void with alcohol and random woman. He realized though that was not the way to handle you leaving or the loss of his father and sister. For the last month, he had been sober of both alcohol and woman.
He applied his thumb to unlock his phone. Swallowing back a lump in his throat, he trailed a finger over your image on his phone. So many chances he had squandered. You asked him to slow down so many times. You felt lonely. Left behind. But you took a backseat to his ambition of a successful career. You begged him so many times, but it was like he didn’t hear you or didn’t want to. He sighed, deciding to get up. Sleep wasn’t coming tonight.
If you’re lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting
Time after time
[From: Peter 7:37AM] Just want to say hi. See how you are doing. I miss you. I really need to see you. Had a tough case.
You were conflicted. On one hand, you really wanted to see Peter. You knew you were his person. His safe landing when things got tough. But on the other hand, you really wanted to see him too. Sighing you tapped out a text.
[To: Peter 7:42AM] I’m okay. I miss you too. I’m off at 3pm. We can have dinner.
[From: Peter 7:44AM] Thank you. We can have dinner at home. I’ll cook.
If you’re lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting
Time after time
He heard the front door open and took a deep breath. He stopped out of the kitchen. God, you looked so good. He watched as you took your coat off, slung it over the chair and dropped your bag haphazardly on the floor. Next, you toed off your shoes in the middle of the room. He smiled. “Good to see some things never change.”
You grinned back. “Nice to see you too.”
He walked over to you and pulled you to him for a hug. “I’ve have missed you so damn much.”
You melted into his chest, and he felt you clutch onto his shirt. He kissed the top of your head. “I missed you too,” she muttered into your shirt.
The two of you stood like that for a while. Just holding one another. “C’mon. Let’s eat,” he said.
After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows
You’re wondering if I’m okay
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time
“I want to apologize for that night. I saw the person I was fading away. After you left I turned to old vices, thinking I’d find the answer. All I could find was more heartache,” he confessed. “I’m in counseling and I’m going to AA. I don’t know if it’s too late for us. I pray it’s not.” He searched your face for a clue of what you were thinking.
Admission of guilt was not something that comes easily to anyone. “It’s not too late. We have a lot to work on but I want to fight for us. I love you too much.”
If you’re lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I’ll be waiting
*one year later*
“Crap. I have to go. I’m going to be late for my meeting,” You called through the house to Peter as you jumped up from the table, and downed your coffee. “I love you!”
Peter caught up with you out on the sidewalk. “Wait.” He was still in just his sleep pants.
“What? Did I forget something?”
“You forget this.” He pulled you in for a smoldering kiss. “And this.” He dropped to one knee and presented you with the clearest cut diamond ring you had ever seen. “Marry me? Please. I love you so much.”
“Yes! Yes! 100% yes!” He slipped the ring on your finger. “I love you too.” And you fell into his arms and he caught you like you had caught him so many times before.
Time after time
Time after time
Songwriters: Robert Hyman / Cyndi Lauper
Time After Time lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc
SVU addict 