Better to have loved…

//And here’s something no one asked for! Alternate to my Doddverse ending of Heartfelt Passages.//

The definition of tragedy according to Merriam-Webster: noun –an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe.

synonyms: disaster, calamity, catastrophe, cataclysm, misfortune, mishap, blow, trial, tribulation, affliction, adversity

Isaac and Cora giggled as you pushed them on the swings. Issac looked so much like Michael. Mike would always live on in Isaac’s eyes, and Cora’s smile. You smiled when you thought about him now. Not that losing Mike hurt any less than it did the day you lost him, it was just…different now.

For months after Mike died, you let the pain, resentment, blame and anger fuel you. You were mad at everyone. It was strange. Munson was the one you were least angry, even though he was the one who really took Mike from you and the kids. He never went to trial, just plead guilty. Avoided the death penalty, locked away for the rest of his life. 

Olivia took the brunt of your anger and blame. She left Mike alone in the house with Munson. Took away your husband and children’s father. You blamed William for getting Mike the job. Damn him and his ambitious plan. You had even been mad at Mike. Which of course was ridiculous. It wasn’t like he planned on getting shot.

The townhouse you and Mike were just making a home, you never returned. All of Mike’s belongs were packed up and put in storage, except for pictures and a few of his shirts. William and Anne insisted you stay with them and you did gladly. The thought of being alone scared you.

You cried every night when the house was quiet. Isaac asked every night if Daddy was coming home. William was angry and withdrawn. Cora had colic. You lost weight, hardly slept and alienated all your friends. You were on autopilot. Surviving, but just. Those were the dark days.

On what would have been your second anniversary, you took out your wedding album.  Mike had looked so handsome. Some many happy faces. The two of you thought you had years left together.  Isaac sat beside you on the bed and looked through the pictures. He asked you “Where’s me?”

 You grinned. “Right there. In Mommy’s belly.” 

Slowly you came out of your depression. Family, friends, a good grief counselor, and medications helped. You and Olivia mended your relationship. Eventually, you and the kids got your own place, you got a job at a local hospital and things were returning to normal. 

You had even gone on a few dates, a couple one night stands. And you were fine with that. You weren’t looking for a serious relationship, just someone to get tangled up with between the sheets. You knew you could never love anyone like you loved Mike. 

As you were getting coffee one morning you heard a male say your name and touch your shoulder. “Y/N? Y/N Dodds?”