“You can’t keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won’t do any good.” And butter please

jewishbarba:

• this got long for a request but i love them so much :’)

It had been a few weeks since he had been acquitted of all charges against him, and since resigning he had become… incredibly depressed. He struggled with guilt from the moment he woke up til the moment he fell asleep, and he wondered what he could – should – have done differently.

The front door swung up, banging against the wall and causing Rafael to jump off the couch, and out of his head, “what the hell?” He heard footsteps shuffling in the hall before the door swung shut and Michael came bumbling into the living room.

“Sorry, sorry! The door got jammed up and I had to, uh, kick it in.” Michael sighed heavily, removing his gloves and unwinding his scarf from around his neck, “have you moved from that spot at all today? To eat? Use the bathroom? I know you didn’t get up to shower.”

“Is that your way of telling me I stink?” Rafael sunk back into the couch and he knew it was bad when he couldn’t remember the last time he showered, but he was sure he showered three days ago.

Michael shook his head, lowering himself onto the coffee table, “Rafael… I love you but you can’t keep it all inside, you know? It’s… bottling it up won’t do any good. It’s not doing you any good – your guilt is slowly destroying you.”

“Shouldn’t I feel guilty?” He dragged his fluffy blanket over himself and it was his way of… putting something between him and Michael, it made him feel safer. More comfortable. “I… I thought it was the right thing to do. I… I still think I made the right decision, but Stone-”

“Stone was just doing his job. You know that.”