Insecurities

detective-sonshine:

Anonymous said:

• Hi! Could I️ request something where nick is really jealous or insecure with his relationship?

A/N- kinda drifted a bit from the prompt but ended back up in the right direction. enjoy!

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“And that’s when the perp fell off the fence. We got his ass
after that!” Nick exclaimed. The group laughed out loud at his handsome charm.
You were out on a group date with some of Nick’s old buddies and their wives. You
were having fun, no doubt. However, it was a little bit weird that you and Nick
were the only couple not married. But Nick assured you it wasn’t a big deal.

“We better call it a night, guys. Gotta go relieve the
babysitter. Ya know how it goes,” said one of the guys on the other side of the
large booth, you didn’t bother memorizing his name. “Speaking of, Nick when are
you and this one gonna pop some out some kids?” the guy said. You blushed and
turned towards your boyfriend. The two of you had never talked about starting a
family together but you always wanted to be a mother. Sure, Nick had Zara and
Gil, but you really wanted to complete the family someday.

“Oh, no. I’m done having kids,” Nick blurts out after taking
a sip of his beer.

“Well you’re at least going to put a ring on her finger,
right?” the guy’s wife asked. You looked at Nick. He bit his lip as if to think
about his words briefly before opening his mouth to speak.

“Yeah I don’t see myself doing that again either.”

Your heart sunk. In that moment, you felt like everything
was crashing down around you—despite how dramatic that had sounded. You had no
idea how much you wanted to be Nick’s wife and how much you wanted a baby until
he said he didn’t want them himself.

The rest of the night went by slowly—too slowly. The rest of
the couples eventually went home leaving just you and Nick in the booth alone.

“You want another round, baby, or do you just wanna get out
of here?” he asks, nibbling your ear. You pull away from him, scooting around
to get up from the booth.

“Actually, I just want to go to bed, Nick.” You placed your
arms across your chest and stared at the many empty beer bottles that were covering
the table.

“Oh… okay.” He seemed disappointed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Just tired. Can we go?” He nodded, throwing
down a $50 on the table and following you out of the bar.

On the way to the apartment the two of you shared, Nick wrapped
his arm around you and held your hand as if nothing had happened. It hurt. I guess having a family with me just isn’t important
to him as it is for me, you think.

When you finally get home, you walk straight to the bedroom
and begin to toss the throw pillows onto the floor.

“You wanna tell me why you didn’t say a word the whole ride
home?”

“I had nothing to say,” you shrug.

“Oh, really? That’s very surprising to hear from the woman
that talked the whole time on our first date,” he teased. You stayed quiet. You
didn’t want to bring the up the issue of a family right now, but Nick kept pushing.
“I know when something is wrong, mi amor. Now, I’ve been thinking about what it
could be, and I honestly have no clue.”

You scoffed.

“See? That right there just verified it! You’re mad at me or
something. Just tell me what’s wrong. Please,” he begged. He tried to reach out
for you, but you walked away from him, avoiding eye contact. You took a deep
breath.

“You said you don’t want anymore kids and that you don’t want
to get married again,” you say, staring at a picture of you with Nick’s kids.

“Yeah, so?”

“So?” you question. “I’m hurt that you would make that
decision for us. For me.”

“I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered. “I just figured you wouldn’t want
to.”

“Why would you assume that? I’m 8 years younger than you. I’m
barely into my thirties. I want babies. I see myself with babies. Hell, I see us with babies, Nick. And seeing you
with your kids makes my heart happy. But that’s just it, Nick. They’re your kids. No matter how much I love them,
at the end of the day, I want to be their mom, too. I know they already have
moms but I’m just as much a part of their life as they are. And if we get
married then—”

“Sweetie, slow down.” He placed a hand on the small of your
back, leading you to sit on the bed beside him. “They love you so much, Y/N. Probably
just as much as I do. You’re so great with them and I honestly am so lucky to
have such an amazing woman in my life.”

“But?” you press.

“But, nothing. They love you.”

“Nick, I’m not sure we are having the same discussion right
now.”

He scratched the back of his head nervously. “I don’t want
another failed marriage,” he blurts. “Maria left me scarred. There was no love
left by the time it was over and it was a rough time in my life. I just—” he
paused. “I just don’t want to go through that again. I’m scared of being hurt
and hurting you.”

“Baby, look at me,” you demand, pulling his face up so his
brown eyes can meet yours. “I will never
leave you. Never. I love you with every single ounce of me, Nick Amaro. I don’t
want you to ever question that.”

“Why would you love me though? Out of all the men on the
planet. I have two kids from two different marriages, one out of wedlock, a
failed marriage, an angry streak, a tendency to throw things. I mean the list
goes on and on.”

“But none of them are you.” He looked down at your lips from
your eyes and back up again. He wanted to kiss you, but he stopped himself.

“I’m insecure. I know that’s not the manliest thing to say but
I guess it’s true. I’m scared you don’t really love me like you said you do. Maria
lied. What’s stopping you? My mindset is fucked up, just like me.”

“Stop! Honestly, Nick. It breaks my heart to hear you talk
so negatively about yourself. You are the kindest, bravest, sexiest man I know.
God, baby, I’m so in love with you. Can’t you see?” By this point, your hands were
on either side of his face as tears threatened to spill from both of your eyes.
“And for what it’s worth, you admitting that you feel insecure is probably the
manliest thing anyone can do.”

“You really mean all those things?” he asked. You nodded.

“Of course I do. You’re the love of my life and I want to
spend the rest of it showing you exactly how much love I have for you. When you’re
ready, of course.”

A small smile formed on his lips before he leaned down and
placed them to yours. It was gentle yet intimate. Different than usually. You
felt closer after hearing the real reason behind Nick’s words. You felt as if
you knew a new side of him that you had never seen before.

“So now that we have that covered, what about babies?” Nick
laughed before rolling his eyes.

“I’m in my forties, hermosa. You really think I can chase
around a kid at this age?”

“I think that having a child that is half you, half me… well
that’s just amazing. It’s priceless.”

“How about we enjoy this time together for a little bit then
discuss this later?”

“I can agree with that.”

“Deal?” he says, holding out his hand. You throw your head
back laughing at his dorkiness.

“Deal.”

Awww…sweet stuff right here.