Nick’s fingers traced over your back mindlessly and you tried to burrow further into where you were laying half on his chest. It was far from the first time he’d be spending the night, but he had arrived in a particular mood that evening that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Originally he had texted you to see if he could come over and you suspected that he was having a rough day. Days like that and Nick would see you and be frantic, holding onto you with fingers that were just shy of too tight and a look in his eye as if you were sand slipping through his hands. Today though he’d been quiet, but also measured. He was prone to storing tension in his body like a coiled spring and yet today he was settled into himself.
He’d spoken only a few words since he’d crossed the threshold on your apartment, but you got the feeling that there was a lot on his mind. The reverence that he’d traced fingers over your body earlier in the evening as he pinned you under him had been heady. You’d never had bad sex with Nick, but you hadn’t even known what you were missing until he was rolling his hips into you at a languid pace, one hand framing your head and the other laced with your fingers. Nick loved kissing you, but he had traded it for holding deep eye contact and it seemed like he was searching for something in your gaze. You weren’t sure if he had found it, but by his current body language you suspected he had.
“Penny for your thoughts,” you petitioned quietly, drumming your fingers into his waist gently where you were wrapped around him. He shifted and tensed slightly, but kept tracing shapes into the bare skin of your back, your shoulder, your spine—anything he could reach.
“I don’t know…they’re not all that exciting,” he tried to evade, but something about the forced lightness of his tone called your attention. You hummed and let the moment stretch gently before trying again.
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” you asked lightly and he sighed. His fingers stopped as his hand cupped your shoulder and he pulled you in closer.
“I…I think I’m in love with you, and that terrifies me,” he admitted finally and you heart thudded in your chest.
“Really?” you asked as your mind went into overdrive, but you tried to keep your body relaxed lest you spook him. “Why does that terrify you?” you asked in the same light tone from before. He tucked his chin on the top of your head before shifting slightly the side and answering.
“I don’t know…been a long time since I’ve been in this position. And last time…” he trailed off and your mind filled in what he wasn’t saying. “It’s not like you’re the first person I’ve dated since then, but you’re the first that I’ve felt like this with—again. It scares me to death,” he admitted and at that you had to pull away to prop up on your elbow so that you could see his face better. It was a few moments before his eyes met yours and he gave you a half smile, slightly self deprecating, with a tiny shrug. You smiled slightly in response and brought up a hand to cup his face.
“I love you,” you told him steadily and his eyes softened. “I love you,” you repeated, “and it’s scary as hell, but at least we’re in this together.” Nick surged up to kiss you softly once and then again before he pulled back just enough to speak.
“Mi amor,” he breathed and you smiled before kissing him again.
I love it when my boys are soft.
SVU addict 