👀👀 hmm okay uh nicks dad died I️ would love a part 2 for when he comes home please !!!

carisi-dreams:

sure thing. some more info first, though! 

so nicolas dies about 6 months after this. while in Miami that last time (in that fill I reference) to see Diego you and Nick swing by to visit Nicolas, his wife and their newborn baby briefly. you spend about an hour there. (a very tense hour). it’s enough to exchange pleasantries and you beg off by saying your son needed his nap. everyone leaves more or less satisfied, even though nick does leave the hotel after he drops you off to go for a long walk. he doesn’t go far at all and actually calls diego who talks to him for 20 minutes before he goes back up to his room with the two of you. okay cool, let’s go! 

part 1 | texts 

also this is angsty af so queue up some fluff first, yeah?

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Nick finally texted you back, just three short sentences letting you know that he was okay. Well, not okay, but apparently safe and heading home soon. Whatever definition of the word ‘soon’ he was applying this time. Again you contemplated trying to search for him, but with your son asleep there wasn’t much you could do. It was nearly ten at night and to wake up Elijah and get him dressed at this hour would be too disruptive. There was no need for the entire family to be awake and distressed and as you ran your hands through Shadow’s fur again you were grateful for the cat’s presence. There were dishes that needed to be washed and clothes you needed to set out for work tomorrow, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. If you sat there staring at the front door and praying then surely Nick would walk through it any moment.

You startled when your phone buzzed again, but your hopes were quickly dashed as you saw Diego’s name light up on the screen briefly. He sent another text asking if Nick was home yet or if you had heard from him. With a sigh you swiped open your screen and shot off another quick text letting him know that Nick wasn’t home yet, but that you had heard from him. You knew Diego had work early in the morning so you tapped out another text urging him to go to bed, letting him know that you would call if Nick didn’t come home. Even through text you could sense that Diego was grumbling and the reliability of your relationship with him brought a small smile to your face.

You were surprised that you hadn’t heard from Nick’s mom or Sonya yet, but you tucked that away for another day. Right now your priority was praying hard enough for Nick to walk through that door in one piece. You didn’t even care what state he was in, whatever, however he was feeling, you just wanted to see him. One of Shadow’s ears suddenly swiveled in the direction of the door and he meowed before jumping off your lap and heading in that direction. You stood slowly in anticipation; that cat had a sixth sense for knowing when Nick was at the door.

You heard the locks slide back and the door was being opened as Nick finally let himself in. You exhaled hard, momentarily getting light headed from relief, before shaking yourself and taking a step in his direction. Nick had his back to you, closing the door softly and locking all of the locks before pausing. You saw his shoulders raise and drop as if he had taken a breath to fortify himself before he turned to look at you. Nick’s face was trying for stony and falling a bit flat and you could see redness in his eyes where he must have been crying earlier. You made an involuntary noise of distress at seeing the lost look in his eyes and you closed the gap between the two of you, gently removing his gun and badge and placing them temporarily on the table beside the door. You reached one hand up for his face and the other for his hand by his side where you laced your fingers with his. The room was silent and Nick broke eye contact to look to the side, working his mouth to disguise it’s trembling.

“I’m glad you’re home,” you told him gently and he nodded once and shuffled his feet. Clearing his throat he loosened his tie and you knocked his hand away to finish loosening it for him to slip over his head. It got cast somewhere to the side and you gripped his neck again, taking a step even closer to him.

“I, uh, I’m sorry I’m so late. I…just needed a moment to um…” Nick started in a stilted voice. You shushed him gently and stroked his neck. Once he spoke you could smell the whiskey on him. He was upright and wasn’t slurring, but he had definitely spent time drinking before heading home.

“You don’t need to apologize, Nick. I understand—was just worried. Baby, I’m so sorry about Nicolas,” you replied sincerely. Nick ducked his head and nodded, but you didn’t miss how his eyes were filling up with tears again.

“I didn’t even like the bastard, but he was still my f—” Nick’s voice cut off abruptly as a sob choked out. You made a soothing noise in the back of your throat and pulled his head into your neck, wrapping your arms around him. Ideally you’d make it to the couch, but judging by how distraught he was becoming you didn’t think you’d make it that far. Tears dripped down your neck as he cried and you held him even tighter before stripping his jacket off with one hand while you held him with the other. Once it was off you wrapped both arms around him again, rubbing a firm hand up and down his back steadily and holding on for dear life.

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you. You’re home. You’re safe. It’s okay. Let it out, I’ve got you,” you murmured quietly and at your words he began crying in earnest. His sobs were bubbling against your neck and his body shook as he continued to grieve. His hands scrambled for your back, fingers fisted in the back of your shirt and as his cries got louder you were thankful that your son was a heavy sleeper. 

You could feel Nick’s knees give out and you gripped him tighter and helped lower him to the floor, following him down. You crossed your legs and pulled him in close to you, using your shirt to wipe some of the tears from his face before he tucked his face back into your neck and held on tightly. You rocked him gently, mostly making soothing noises and every so often reminding him that you had him, he was safe, you weren’t going anywhere. After awhile he slipped down so that he was curled on the floor around your legs, head in your lap and hand shielding his face as he continued to cry. You leaned over to wrap your body around his, one hand in his hair and the other on his back and the two of you sat there a long time before finally getting up and getting him into bed.