A/N- Aw! Thank you so much! Sorry about the long wait on this one, I’ve been busy dealing with summer class enrollment! Hope you enjoy this one!
Warnings- hint of smut, post-pregnancy, insecurities, and lots of Sonny fluff (what else)
It was a cool, spring afternoon, and you were enjoying a cup
of coffee with your favorite book. You had just put your 8 month old son in his
crib for a nap. You were sprawled out across your bed, waiting for your
husband, Sonny, to come home. Today was one of those rare days that he didn’t have
to work. You were excited to finally have a full day to spend with your love. His
job has him in and out of the house at weird hours, so he is away a lot. You didn’t
mind much. You knew that his job was important. But sometimes, you felt lonely.
Sonny was aware of that. He had gone to the grocery store to buy the ingredients
for your favorite meal—he insisted he cook for you tonight.Deep into your novel, you hadn’t noticed your husband sneak
into your room.“Doll, is it warm in here to you?” Sonny asked, pulling on
the collar of his black tee shirt.You turned towards him, suddenly aware of the heat seeping into
your skin.“That’s weird. Maybe the A/C stopped running again?”
Lately, the air conditioner would turn itself off. You and
Sonny, having just had a baby, had rigged it so that way you could put off
having to get a new one for a while. Sonny walked out of your room and you followed
him into the back hallway as he opened the closet door to peek inside.“I think it finally died,” he said with a sigh.
“Dammit! It was doing so good!” you exclaimed. “I thought it
would at least make it till the end of summer.”“It’s alright, Doll. I’ll pull some strings on Monday. In the
meantime, let’s open some windows to let the breeze in.”A few hours later, the house was even hotter. Sonny, without
thinking about the effects, used the oven. It didn’t help that today was the
hottest day of the year so far in New York. You were just thankful that you
found an old fan in the garage. You set it up in your son’s room to keep him
cool. But as for you and Sonny, you both were dripping in sweat.When it was time for bed, Sonny wasted no time stripping
down to absolutely nothing. In a way, you were jealous of his confidence. You had
a baby 8 months ago, you should’ve lost your baby weight by now. You dieted,
exercised, and took care of a child all day long. The weight should’ve been shed
off. You felt defeated.The doctor cleared you to have sex again 6 months ago, but
you didn’t feel comfortable. Sonny always praised your body, but you felt as if
he would think you looked disgusting now. You had visible stretch marks, extra
weight, and your C-section scar wasn’t very appealing. Of course, you felt bad for
your husband. He hadn’t pressured you in any way since the baby came, but you
knew he was beginning to get frustrated.Your mind drifted back to the present where Sonny had turned
on the TV for you all. He looked over and noticed how hot you were, with beads
of sweat drifting down your forehead.“Doll, why don’t you just take off your clothes? Its scorching
in here. You’ll feel a lot more comfortable.” He gestured to the shirt and
pajama pants you were wearing.“No, I’m okay. It’s not that hot,” you lied.
“Y/N…”
“Sonny…”
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?” you pressed.
“I mean the fact that you haven’t let me see or touch your
body in almost nine months. Every time you get in the shower, you lock the
door. When you used to breastfeed, you would go to a separate room. When I try
to make love to you, you say you’re not in the mood. You’re my best friend,
Doll. I know when something is wrong. Just tell me. You can tell me anything.”You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. You sighed.
You knew he was right. You had been distant when it came to any sort of contact.
He sat up and with one hand, rubbed your thigh, and with the other, brushed the
hair out of your eyes. “Tell me,” he repeated.“I don’t feel comfortable with my body,” you said softly.
“Why not?” he asked, his blue eyes looking at you with
sympathy.“I feel fat and disgusting. I don’t want you to see me because
what guy would want to look at this?” you gestured to your core.Sonny’s eyes filled with sadness. He grabbed both of your
hands and yanked you up, so you were both now standing, just inches apart.“There is nothing to be ashamed of, Y/N. And to prove that,
I am going to kiss every single part of you that I love.” He said, planting a
kiss on the top of your head. You rolled your eyes and laughed.“I love your cheeks.” Kiss.
“I love your lips.” Kiss.
“I love your nose.” Kiss.
“I love your neck.” Kiss.
Your eyes closed at the contact. His fingers pulled at the
bottom of your shirt before he lifted it over your head. You felt exposed, but
somehow knowing Sonny was with you, you also felt safe.“I love your shoulders.” Kiss.
“I love really
love your chest.” Kiss. Kiss. You threw
your head back and laughed.“I love your stomach.” Kiss.
He dropped to his knees and kissed your scar. You tensed up. He tightened his
grip on your hands, never letting them go. He stood back up and brought his
lips to your ear.“I could keep going, but that would require your pants to be
thrown across the room,” he whispered, sending a chill down your spine.He brought his face back to yours, looking you in the eyes.
“If we never have sex again, I will be okay. But what I won’t
be okay with is you thinking so horrible about yourself. You are my wife! I
love you, inside and out. You have never been and never will be disgusting. You
are beautiful. And you take my breath away each and every day. We will take
this slow. Okay, doll? I love you.” Your eyes teared up at your sweet, sweet
gift of a husband. He planted a gentle kiss on your lips before lying you down
on the bed next to him. You spent the rest of that night entangled in each other,
despite the horrendous heat. He was your Sonny, and you had never felt so safe
and so beautiful than in his arms.
Sweet Sonny. My heart.
SVU addict 