Could you do “I’m not going to stop.” W sonny??? I just want to hold/comfort him he’s such a giant puppy 😭😭. Sending you hugs for all your amazing writing!

carisi-dreams:

❤ after the events of 18 x 07 (which I’ve only seen once b/c I canNOT see sonny almost die again. I’m too Soft for that) 

After a vague heads up from Olivia you were in the living room so that you would see when Sonny came home. Her text that it ‘was a rough one’ was just vague enough to be infuriating, but also have you worried. You knew Sonny had to be okay physical because there had been no mention of a hospital, but you were still biting your nails anxiously when you finally heard his key in the lock and heavy footsteps as he entered the apartment. He set his things down carefully on the small table by the door, toeing off his shoes as he shed his jacket, with his back still to you. Sonny was noticeably silent and that alone had you on your feet and crossing the room towards him.

“Sonny?” you said softly as you placed a gentle hand on the back of his arm. He flinched and you lifted your hand quickly, taking a step back. When he finally turned you got a look at his face and aside from being exceptionally pale he looked more or less okay. His face was unreadable, not quite impassive, but trying for it. “Baby. You okay?” you tried again in the same soothing tone, making no move to reach for him this time. His face started to crumble and he bit his lip and shook his head once before brushing by you towards the back of the apartment. You followed him down the hall as he finally responded.

“I, uh…tough day,” he said finally after clearing his throat. The words were slow and came out as if they were being raked over cut glass. They were painful and you could tell there was a lot he and Olivia were not saying. You followed him into the bathroom as he walked immediately to the shower and turned it on, beginning to shed his clothes.

“Tough day…I’m sorry to hear that, Sonny. Do you want to talk about it?” you asked him as you watched him shed off his vest and toss it to the floor carelessly, as if it were a dead animal that he wanted away from him. He shook his head in response, head ducked low to watch his fingers fumble with the buttons of his shirt.

You stepped closer slowly, to help him unbutton his shirt, when you looked up and finally saw the blood. At this angle you could see the top of his head better and your heart immediately went into overdrive, even as you knocked his fingers away gently to take over disrobing him. His hands were shaking and he was starting to tremble now, head still bowed and not meeting your eye.

“Are you hurt, Sonny? I see blood in your…” you started in the same low voice, trying to not let the alarm you felt bleed into your voice. Sonny shook his head swiftly and you cut yourself off. Not his. Relief coursed through your veins before you realized that it must mean that he had been close to the person who had been shot, probably killed. You got his shirt unbuttoned and gently peeled it off of him, casting it in the same direction of the vest before cupping his face in your hands. “Hey, look at me for a second. I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Sonny, okay? You’re safe here and I’m going to take care of you. Alright? I’m going to take care of you,” you said softly, but insistently, as you searched his eyes and combed your fingers gently through his hair. He made a sound in the back of his throat before tugging you into an embrace. He gripped you tightly and you gripped him back just as hard, trying to keep him in one piece.

“I’ve got you,” you murmured as you brought up a hand to the back of his head. He tucked his face into your neck and you stood there for a minute. “What do you need, baby? Hmm? Anything. Want to get into the shower then get in bed with me?” you asked as you started to draw back, but Sonny’s grip on you tightened.

“Don’t stop. Please. I need you to—I need,” Sonny’s hands scrambled on your back as he stumbled over his words, breathing hard and you stepped forward again and tightened your grip.

“Alright. I’m here,” you said immediately. “I’m not going to stop. As long as you need, baby. As long as you need,” you continued soothingly. Sonny’s only response was to draw his hands under your shirt, sighing when he touched skin. His fingers dug into your back and hip and you combed through the back of his hair in long, slow strokes, humming absently.  It was a long time before you got him into the shower and not until the next morning did he tell you exactly what had happened.